A Dead Bird Named Kitty
by bombtrack
Summary: The strong and silent Matt Rutherford is actually a very angry and bitter soul. Behind his calm expression is a ball of rage threatening to explode all over New Directions. But a chance meeting in the park with Brittany changes everything. Mattany
1. Chapter 1

Matt Rutherford was a pretty relaxed and well adjusted fellow. He set goals for himself and did everything in his power to achieve those goals without being annoying and getting in everyone's face about it. He was a first string player on the varsity football team (goal since pee – wee football) and kept a respectable grade point average (goal since his mom threatened to whip his butt for bad grades). He also tried to keep a level head and remain calm. But when he got that rejection letter from Ohio State, he snapped. It wasn't that Ohio State was his dream school; his dream was to get out of Ohio. Not that he hated the state or his small town; he just wanted a change of scenery, to experience something new. Ohio State was a safety net that was now broken and useless. He wasn't depressed, he was angry. How dare they have the audacity to reject him? He was so enraged he had to take a walk to clear his head and avoid punching a wall. It angers him to think of all those Saturdays he had wasted sitting through those boring SAT prep courses (with Rachel Berry being the narrator/assistant proctor/ annoying little voice that wouldn't shut up for 3 seconds) just to improve his scores. He had the grades, the athletic background, hell he even joined glee just so he could have another extracurricular to put on his resume. Did you think he would honestly join glee club for the love of singing and dancing? No thanks, that's more up Kurt Hummel's alley. He liked being on stage and performing, but he hated the people there. Mr. Schuster always smiled at him in a weird self important kind of way. He probably thought Matt was your stereotypical black thug who was going to change his ways through the power of show choir because a polite white man believed in him. Instances like that were a big reminder of where he stood as a black man in Lima Ohio. Another reminder was when Quinn would clutch her backpack tighter when he sat down next to her. Really? He had enough money to not half to steal from preggers thank you very much. He knew her family where fox news nuts but still. Finn asked him if he was related to President Obama, what the hell do you even say to a question like that? Tina, Artie, and Kurt were losers and he was just thankful that the music room had a thick door with a small window that shielded his shameful interaction with them. That sounds cruel, but so is high school. He never threw a slushie but he knew hanging out with the wrong people meant one would get thrown at you. Puck's life was going nowhere and he was going to peek in high school, Matt didn't want to be around someone like that. Especially since Puck would probably ask him for money down the road, cutting of ties now meant avoiding awkward situations later. Santana had two modes, bitchy and horney, and dating her for three months made him sick of her altogether (ok maybe not the horney part, but she was psycho). Mercedes wanted him to be the Jay-Z to her Beyonce, and that aint happening. Mike is cool. Brittany is….currently sitting on a park bench crying over a shoe box.

Matt didn't like getting involved; keeping people at arm's length meant he wouldn't have to do them any special favors. He minded his own business, took care of his own problems, and expected no less from others. But come on, seeing Brittany crying was the saddest sight he had seen in a while, and he heard Rachel sing when she lost her voice so that was saying something. After a little internal debate, he decided that since she was the mental equivalent of a 4 year old, leaving her crying on a bench would be like ignoring a crying lost child, so he walked over to her.

_Hey Brittany what's up?_

_Hi Mike, I'm ok I'm just really upset._

_Brittany it's me…Matt._

_Oh ok, it's difficult for me to tell you guys apart sometimes._

He thought for a minute about how the key to ending bigotry and racism was to make everyone the same intelligence level as Brittany to create a truly color blind society. Then he thought about what it would be like if Brittany ruled the world, bigotry and racism it is.

_What are you doing out here in the park all by yourself? What's in the box?_

_My dead bird. Poor Kitty…she never got to live a full life._

_Your bird was named Kitty?_

_She never got a chance to learn to talk. I was gonna teach her English_

Matt remembered peer revising Brittany's English papers, the bird probably should have been teaching her. But she was crying, and he already made contact so why not see it through to the end?

_Is there anything I can do to help?_

_You could help me with her funeral._

_Sure, I'd love to._

He didn't know what made him care so much, he never really cared for Brittany before, she was always calling Santana right when he was about to get some, and that really pissed him off. But seeing her genuinely hurt, not caring what people thought of her or pretending to be hurt just to get attention broke his heart. While he was digging a hole for the box with a shovel he found that must have been left by the park landscapers, he couldn't help but think about how genuine she was. There were never any ulterior motives with Brittany, what you saw is what you got. She didn't pretend to like you to your face…like he did…often.

_I think that's deep enough._

_Yeah I think you're right. _

She places Kitty the bird in the shallow hole at Fabray Park and says her goodbyes.

_Is there anything you would like to say Matt?_

_I never knew her Brittany._

_Maybe you could sing some 2pac, Kitty loved 2pac._

Normally he would hate her for saying something like that, but hey, it was Brittany. For all she knew he was Vietnamese.

_I don't know what 2pac song would be appropriate for this occasion Brit._

After thinking for a moment, Brittany began to rap

_I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself__  
__is life worth living should I blast myself?__  
__I'm tired of bein' poor & even worse I'm black__  
__my stomach hurts so I'm lookin' for a purse to snatch__  
__Cops give a damn about a negro__  
__pull the trigger kill a ni-_

_Ok! I think that's enough Brittany I feel Kitty would want you to stop now. _

She nodded with resolve and helped him cover the shoebox casket with dirt.

_So Matt, why were you walking by yourself._

_I just needed some air._

_There's no air in your house? Is your family ok?_

_No Brit, I mean that I just wanted to be alone for a minute to think._

_I know exactly what you mean._

He had to physically cup his jaw to avoid laughing at her.

_Why did you look so angry on your walk, do you have angry thoughts?_

_Yeah I was working through some anger; I just got a rejection letter from Ohio State._

He didn't know why he was telling her all this. He usually keeps things to himself. But Brittany was kind, loyal and beautiful, she would never tell anyone. Wait, did he just call her beautiful?

_Really? I just got accepted there on a full scholarship for cheerleading._

Matt wanted to kill her and everything in a mile radius of her, but he would go to jail and his mom would kill him for being in jail so he immediately pushed those thoughts out of his mind. All he could say was…

_Oh, that's cool I guess._

_Yeah Coach Sue says that's what you get when you're a winner. She also says that since the football team never wins anything you guys have no shot at ever getting a scholarship to anywhere._

Was this true, was he really not going to get anywhere.

_How many other schools did you apply to Matt?_

_Four._

_Did you hear back from the other seven schools yet?_

_No…wait Brit you…nevermind._

_You haven't heard from them all so you still got chances._

_You really think so?_

_Of course I do._

She slid her hand into his.

_You got it all Matt, you're super smart and you're athletic and you're really nice._

_I don't think being nice is a part of the college admissions process._

_Really? Because that's what my whole essay was about._

He paused for a minute, picturing Brittany writing the words "I am Nice" on a piece of paper, probably in red crayon.

_Brittany._

_Yeah._

_I'm really happy for you, congratulations._

_Thanks Matt!_

For the first time in a long time, Matt was being genuine too.


	2. Chapter 2

_So, what do you want to do now? We could go to a pet store and get you a new bird._

She was still holding his hand as they walked down the sidewalk.

_It's too soon for that Matt, and birds from the pet store don't have the same soul that a free bird has. Once they're in the pet store, they've given up the will to live. _

_Sounds like even the animals can't stand Lima. _

_But I love Lima, don't you?_

_Don't get me wrong it's a nice place to grow up. But once you hit a certain age you start to long for things you know you'll never get here._

_Like?_

_Let's see…one thing we could use is a dance club that doesn't require cowboy hats._

_But I love to dance at Sammy's; my dad still takes me their every other Saturday. We laugh and dance and have a great time. I'll have to take you one day._

_That's okay Brittany; I'm not a square dancer. _

_But you dance amazing, I'm sure you could pull it off just as easy as Mike did._

Why did that statement suddenly make Matt want to punch Mike in his smug little face? Was it jealousy? No way, Mike was his best friend and Brittany has locked lips with everyone so there was no need to be jealous. Still, he liked the idea of challenging himself to new things, that was the point of living wasn't it?

_I might have to take you up on that offer._

_Sweet. Hey, wanna come over to my house?_

_That sounds cool, I'll just call my mom to tell her where I'll be._

Lay off she worries about him, plus she had to hear it from him or else she would never believe it.

_Hey mom, I'll be hanging out with Brittany for a while. Yeah that Brittany. No, there's no punch line because I'm not making a joke. Yeah I was surprised by it too. Yeah, Okay, love you too, bye._

_Does she not want you at my house?_

_She doesn't want me at any girl's house, so as far as she knows we are going to a very public place._

_But my parents will be there so there's nothing to worry about._

At first Matt was curious as to why Brittany was so observant when sex was the subject but was so oblivious to everything else in life. Then he wondered if meeting the trees that Brittany's apple fell from was such a good idea. Would they want a boy in their house hanging out with their daughter? Would they mind his race? Would they know how to open their own door? They remained in silence for a long time when Brittany finally spoke up.

_Is the game almost over yet?_

_What?_

_The silence game, Santanna and I play it all the time. The rules are that I can't talk until she starts talking._

_No, we aren't playing._

_Then who won?_

_Let's call it a tie._

_Yeah!_

After finishing a celebratory squeal and clap, Brittany dug through her purse to find her house key. Matt looked around at the neighborhood, it looked a lot like his own. Solidly middle class. Brittany opened the door, allowing Matt in behind her and motioning for him to take his shoes off.

_Mom, Dad, I'm home and I brought a friend!_

A man's voice came from upstairs.

_Hold on Sweetie, I'm updating my twitter._

Matt groaned as he now knew what he was getting into. The parents who thought they could be their kid's best friends instead of authority figures.

_Don't mind him he's just going through a little mid-life crisis. Hello I'm Brenda, and you are?_

Matt shook the hand of the older, very intelligent sounding woman, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

_I'm Matt Rutherford, I go to school with Brittany, and we're in glee club together._

_Oh I think I remember seeing you at one of the football games, you play varsity._

_Yes Ma'am, starting cornerback._

_Well congratulations, I bet you worked really hard to earn that spot._

_Yes I did I-_

Matt was interrupted by the sound of Brittany's father coming down the stairs. He stood by Brenda's side and he swore they looked like an aged Barbie and Ken doll desperately trying to keep up their appearances with cosmetic surgery.

_Hey there! Bobby B. at your service._

Matt took the man's firm handshake.

Hello Mr….Mr.B it's nice to meet you, I'm Matt Rutherford.

_He helped me bury Kitty daddy. _

_Oh I'm so sorry I didn't get home in time for that baby doll. What Pac song did you choose?_

_Changes._

_Word. _

Brenda shot Matt an apologetic look. Matt was so much more at ease now than he had been walking over there. Bobby took Brenda's hand and began to lead her upstairs.

_Well we'll give you kids some privacy._

_But leave the door open to whatever room you go into._

_We will Mom._

They went upstairs and headed to their bedroom and locked the door. 2 minutes later, Al Green can be heard playing through the walls.

_Did they just…_

_Twenty-plus years of marriage and they are still in love, isn't it just wonderful._

_Yeah it's something alright._

_Want to eat something._

_Sure._

They ate milk and cookies on the island in the kitchen, Brittany on one side, and Matt on the other. The silence was more comfortable than before, they were looking at each other warmly. But even comfortable silences made Matt uncomfortable.

_What should we talk about?_

Smooth Matt, so smooth.

_I thought we were having a staring contest._

_Huh? I mean, we both probably blinked a bunch of times._

_I thought we were doing a best of 7 series, then the winner faces who ever won between my mom and dad, and the winner of that matchup faces my cat Tweetie in the finals to determine the grand champion._

_A cat named Tweetie?_

_Yep._

Her grin made the absolutely retarded things she said seem cute.

_Maybe we could watch some tv._

_Yeah! I think the history channel is on._

_What do you watch on the history channel?_

Matt was learning to ignore some of the obvious Brittany mistakes, calling her on all of them would just waste too much energy.

_I just love the way they talk, I could listen to smart people talk all day. They spent a lot of time gaining that knowledge and they're just giving that knowledge away for free._

_Yeah but you got to buy the tv, that's how they get you._

_My dad told me it fell off a truck._

_Seriously?_

_Yeah, dad told me Uncle Nunzio got it after it had fallen off a truck and had given it to us for free._

Matt did not want to enter witness protection, he likes his name, so he didn't ask any more questions about the tv.

_Matt?_

_Yeah Brit?_

_Are we…gonna make out or something._

_I don't know, are you sure you want to, I can still hear the Al Green coming from upstairs._

_Ya know what, of all the guys, girls, and religious officials I kissed, I remember yours the most._

_You do?_

_Yeah, you didn't try to force me into it, even though everyone else at the party was. I hate that kind of pressure, but when we were in that closet together you told me we didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do._

_Truth be told I wasn't that comfortable with kissing at that time, we were a lot younger then._

_Yeah, maybe we could just sit together a while longer before making out._

_Sure._

She snuggled up closer to him and put her head on his shoulder.

_Matt._

_Yeah Brit?_

_I like spending time with you._

_I do to._

_But you always get to spend to with you, you are you._

Just let it go, she won't remember the correction anyway. Or maybe she will because she just admitted you mean something to her. Hold on; think about this for a second Matt. This is Brittany we're talking about. Her little black book is probably the size of the phone book and she probably enjoys the company of plants too. Could there really be something more to this? Are you willing to take that chance?

_I like spending time with you too Brittany._

_Matt._

_Yeah Brit._

_What are we doing if we are hanging out without making out? What does that make us?_

_I don't know._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: I screwed up with their name. It's Mattany or Bratt if you prefer.

_Matt, would you like to stay for dinner?_

He looked behind the coach over to Brittany's mom, looking disheveled in a white rob.

_That would be great Mrs…Brenda, I'll call my mom and let her know._

It wasn't that Matt's mom couldn't cook; she just didn't do it anymore. He couldn't think of many families that still did the traditional "dinner as a family" thing anymore. It's also probably because Matt never liked what she cooked, which was always very bland and simple. He would be sure to put on a fake smile to whatever Brenda brought him though. After making the call, Matt helped Brittany set the table while Bobby was helping Brenda cook.

_So Matt, the football teams not doing too well this year, anything wrong with coach Tanaka?_

_He's pretty vacant right now Mrs. B, I don't think he has fully gotten over losing his fiancé. _

_I don't know why there is so much attention on a game where the objective is to hurt. Sports should be about unity and friendship._

_Yeah….that's an interesting point Mr.B. I find that I'm able to balance out the toughness of football with the more artistic glee club. _

_It's quite noble for you to be a part of two vastly different social classes Matt, that choice must not have been easy._

_It was a little difficult at first Mrs. B, but when Santanna and Brittany joined it sort of paved the way for others to join._

_That Santanna gives me the creeps._

_Daddy!_

_I'm sorry baby doll but I can't tell you how many times I've listened to crying teenage girls talk about how Santanna Lopez made them afraid to go to school._

_But she's my best friend._

_I know sweetie, I'm just grateful you two have different personalities._

_My husband, ever the caring child psychologist. _

Matt could not picture Mr. B going to graduate school, but he could picture him playing with little kids and getting them to talk about their fears. That's what child psychologists did right?

_My way of balancing out my wife, the dull CPA._

_Hey I like to have fun._

_Really?_

_You know it._

Matt had to act fast before they went for round two on top of the dinner table they were currently eating at. And Matt was really enjoying the steak too much to be interrupted by old people sex.

_So, where did you guys go to college?_

_We met at Ohio State. I was a cheerleader, and Bobby was a hippie. Shocker I know._

_Hey I was adding flavor and culture to a school that was sorely lacking it at that time._

_Oh and I just love the thought of Brittany walking down the same halls we did. What college are you thinking about attending Matt?_

Shit, he did not want the conversation to be focused on him, but college was the only thing on his mind so he just blurted it out. It made more sense that Brittany got in considering both her parents went there, but he couldn't tell them he didn't get in, he didn't want them to judge him.

_I haven't heard back from Ohio State yet, I applied to a few other schools and I'm also waiting for a reply from them, the wait is getting pretty frustrating. _

_Well your last name does begin with an R, it probably takes them a while to sort through all the applications._

_Thanks Mr. B, that means a lot._

And it did, even though he was lying, Matt felt instantly better after hearing Brittany's father's words. Brittany was right, he hadn't heard back from all the schools so there was no need to worry himself to death. Matt talked casually with Brittany and her parents until it was time to leave. Brittany walked him to the porch.

_Goodbye Matt._

She kissed him on the check.

_I'll see you at glee._

_See ya, Brit._

That's right, he would see her at glee. Would she approach him? Start talking about their day together? Reference his failure to get into college? She kept her mouth shut in front of her parents, but he got lucky because she was having a telepathic conversation with a ladybug at the time. Screw it, he didn't care what people thought of him, he was going to sit next to his friend. The next day at glee club he walked right up to the back row and sat next to her.

_Hi Matt!_

_Hey Brittany._

_Don't you just love this room._

_Yeah, tell you the truth I like the performing more than the practicing._

_But practice is awesome; we can just be in the room together as a family._

_You consider these guys as your family?_

_Yeah, everyone's so amazing here._

That's the exact opposite of the way he felt, but wanted to hear her explanation.

_Anytime I get to spend with Santanna is fun, even though she's really mean sometimes. Watching Finn mess up dance steps is hilarious, and then when he finally gets it right he had the biggest heartwarming grin on his face. Rachel has psychic abilities; you just never know when you may need those. Tina's a vampire and I think her involvement in the club is keeping all of us safe from being attacked. Quinn's presence alone shows her inner strength and I admire that. Mercedes has a voice that can touch your soul. Kurt is just funny to watch, especially when he tries to out-diva the other girls. Artie always tries to see the best in people and Mr. Schue believes in all of us._

Matt dreaded her explanation for the last two names. Two guys she probably had history with.

_Mike is…such a great person, he's a great dancer and he always makes me smile because he is always smiling._

That's one down; let's hear what she has to say about the man whore.

_And Puck is… well he's the big brother I never had._

That was not what he was expecting.

_You're a guy so you may not understand this, but as a girl, you have to be really careful sometimes. Even in school, it's scary sometimes to get the wrong kind of attention from the wrong guy. So seeing Puck down the hall always makes me feel safe because he'll beat up anyone for his friends, but I bet you already knew that._

He did, despite what he thought about Puck, he could not deny that there was no one he would rather have on his side during a confrontation.

_Sometimes when Sanatanna and I go to concerts, Puck comes along to look out for us, even though he always complains about how the bands we go to see are "a bunch a gays."_

Matt laughed at this; he suddenly saw the glee clubbers in a different light. They weren't a waste of space; they were complex kids, just like him.

_Then theres you._

_What about me?_

_When I get to dance with you during songs my whole body gets tingly._

Why would she tell him that? Is that her way of telling him that they should be more than friends? He really wants that to happen but is too afraid to make the first move. They link their arms together and she lays her head on his shoulder like she did back on the couch at her house. Mercedes arrived at the rehearsal room, saw the two of them, stared down at the floor for a minute and walked out. His heart sank a little bit as his conscience began to eat away at him. It wasn't like he was being pressured into dating a black girl, but he felt that it was sort of his responsibility. He didn't want to be another successful black man trying to assimilate into western ideals by getting a white wife. He believed in love, but he wanted it to be with a black girl that he could talk to. As nice as Brittany was, she would never understand what it's like to be black. There just weren't that many black girls were he lived. They either lived on the opposite side of the town in the "Lima ghetto" or they lived where he lived but only dated white guys.

_You look like I do when I eat ice cream too fast._

_Sorry about that, I'm just a little bit confused that's all._

_That happens to me sometimes too._

_You don't say._

_Yeah, like when I forgot how to get to this room for the second time this week. _

They were in glee club for months, how could she not know? Maybe Santanna was her Seeing Eye dog or something, leading her from class to class.

_I find that if you are confused about something you should ask for help._

_I kind of like to handle my own problems Brittany; I don't want to be a burden to other people._

_But it's not a burden if people care about you. Whenever you get confused again, don't hesitate to talk to me ok?_

_OK._

After he said that, she gave him a short, light kiss on the lips. Maybe dating Brittany wouldn't be so bad. Sure he would like for her to be a little smarter, but she made him feel great about himself, something he had trouble doing on his own the past few weeks. And theres nothing wrong with high school dating. It's not like he was going to marry her. Wait, why was he thinking about marriage? And why is he picturing Brittany walking towards him in a long white dress surrounded by all their friends and family?


	4. Chapter 4

It was finally the weekend again and Matt couldn't believe it. The weeks were getting longer and longer as he was waiting to hear back from schools. He couldn't believe how high school life was like this messed up universe where it can feel like it's going by so quickly and yet so slowly at the same time. One moment he would worry if he and Mike would still be friends after high school, the next moment he would curse the class he was in for dragging on too long. But the weekends, they were an escape from high school into the real world.

_What are you doing sitting on the park bench all by yourself silly, I thought we were going to meet on the swings._

_Well Brittany I considered sitting on the swings, but there are small children currently in the park._

_So? Nobody is on the swings right now._

_Yes Brit I can see that, but you have to consider all the circumstances. A grown man and a grown woman together on the swings is a cute couple on a date. A grown man on the swings with kids surrounding him is a reason to call the police._

_You really see yourself as a grown up?_

She sits down next to him, clutching a pink Barbie lunch box that was about to fall apart from overuse.

_Yeah don't you, I mean, we're making college plans, well at least you are._

_I don't want to be grown up right now, I like being able to make mistakes._

_Trust me; adults make mistakes too, like when Sue gave away our entire set list to the opposing teams at Sectionals. _

_Yeah but adult decisions impact a lot of other stuff. Adult decisions are about insurance payments, business meetings, and making sure Megatron doesn't destroy the earth. I hope my problems never get bigger than school and cheerleading._

_Megatron isn't real._

_Then why did he look so real in the movie?_

_Computer graphics._

After an awkward pause which Matt assumes is Brittany's attempt at processing new information, she digs into her lunch box and pulls out a sandwich and hands it to him.

_Hope you like it without the crust._

_I love them like that thank you. Man these are really good did you make them?_

She nods and gives him a big smile. They were tuna fish sandwiches but made with her on special ingredients. Matt was impressed, most girls his age didn't like cooking. He remembers Rachel commenting on how it was sexist and he remembers Santana being too impatient to wait for water to boil. But Brittany seemed to enjoy it from what he saw at her parents' house. Because even though she didn't understand recipes, she enjoyed what cooking represented, feeding and nourishing the family. Cooking with her parents were some of the best times in Brittany's life because it was a chance for them to be together and talk. They were too distracted to talk during the actual dinner because they were too busy eating the delicious food. Cooking was unity, family, and support.

_Have you heard from any of your other schools yet Matt?_

_Still nothing._

_Maybe you should contact some people who work there._

_They're working through thousands of applications right now Brit, they wouldn't appreciate me bothering them._

_Or maybe they would appreciate a student taking the insemination to find out if he was accepted or not._

_Do you mean initiative?_

_Yeah they would appreciate you taking the initiative to inseminate them._

Was she right about this? Of course she was wrong about the whole insemination thing but was she right about contacting the admissions offices. His mother suggested it, but he was too scared to find out. Being in limbo and not knowing was more desirable than getting rejected again. Why do the women in his life always try to force him to go the extra mile when he doesn't want to? It's his life and his choices; they should let him run his own life. Okay, so maybe his mom is just trying to do what's best for him but Brittany's involvement is shaky at best, he doesn't know if they are official or not and it was driving him nuts.

_Matt, you're thinking hard again, what's wrong?_

_Brittany, are we together?_

_It depends, are you a hologram?_

_No, I'm physically here; I mean are we an exclusive couple?_

_I don't know, what would it mean to be an exclusive couple?_

_It means that I don't date any other girls and you don't date any other guys, we would only be with each other._

He wanted to stop himself from saying those words but he couldn't. What was he doing? He was making a monogamous relationship sound like a prison sentence. A girl like Brittany does not desire to be tied down, she has to run free and love everyone. Man was he stupid, no wonder he wasn't going to get into college.

_Could I still sleep with Santana?_

Matt's mind went to a happy yet dirty place were crappy jazz rock was playing in the background and hooker heels were involved.

_I guess that would be cheating. Maybe if the three of us slept together at the same time, would that be ok?_

Matt was about to black out. He had to regain focus or else he would lose control of himself in a park surrounded by kids. Yeah, the cops would love to hear his explanation for that one.

_How about we go on some dates first and then we can discuss sleeping arrangements later._

_But I was talking about sex._

_I know, I just don't think Santana would be ok with that._

_I could convince her, it would be fun and new. That's probably the one thing I haven't done yet._

Matt was not a religious man, but part of him believed that God was acting as his personal wing man that day. He doubts even Puck could pull something like this off, and here he was, basically letting Brittany do all the work to get him a three way. Still, it didn't feel right to use her like that. He liked her for who she was and she deserved to know that.

_I just want us to be alone together, no friends getting in the way._

_That sounds wonderful._

They left the park and walked to the local movie theatre. Brittany was way too excited to see the new C.G.I kid's movie, but Matt was trying to do the gentleman thing and give her what she wanted. He payed for the tickets and was about to pay for snacks but Brittany wouldn't let him. He liked that she wanted to contribute to the date, even though he considered the sandwiches as more than enough payment. He was surprised by how much food she ate outside of school considering how she and Santana would never eat anything during lunch, but even he's not dumb enough to say that to her. Brittany maybe an easy going teenage girl, but she was still a teenage girl. During the movie, Matt felt the eyes of strangers staring at them. He didn't expect people to be 100 percent ok with interracial dating but he felt the staring was really unnecessary.

_Hey Brittany, why is everyone staring at us?_

_I think it's because I made out with nearly all the guys in this theatre, some of the girls, and probably whoever is voicing the talking penguin in the movie._

Matt sank in his chair a little bit. Brittany noticed this and led him out of the theatre so they could talk without disturbing others.

_What's wrong Matt, I told you to talk to me when you were upset?_

_There are a lot of people in that theatre Brittany; I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the image of you being with so many other people._

_But now I only want to be with you, exclusive right? Why let the past mess up the present?_

She had a point, but then again, those were a lot of dudes. Did she have something? Did she infect him with already? He knew it was wrong to let a misogynistic double standard affect this relationship. (Women couldn't be with a lot of men while men were encouraged to be with a lot of women blah blah feminist blah.) He recognized that and tried to look past it but he wasn't sure if he could. If he stayed with her, he would wonder every time they walked down the street, "Did this guy sleep with my girlfriend too?"


	5. Chapter 5

Matt had this little quirk that caused him to always awake from his dreams before they were finished. As soon as he found something that was not believable, his rational mind would tell him that it was a dream and wake him up automatically. But the dream he had last night was so powerful he couldn't get out of it no matter how hard he tried. He was a knight on horseback riding up a cliff to go slay a dragon. The dragon had looked like Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty with an angry Latino-chick vibe. Santana would be proud; his subconscious made her the scariest thing he could remember from his child hood. But then something unexpected happened (as if the dragon wasn't unusual enough). The dragon grew a second head, and this one had a sassy Black-chick vibe. These were the dragon ladies that everyone expected him to be with, either Mercedes or Santana. They started to eat him, but he was a knight and knights don't play that shit, so he attacked back. Just when he was about to strike the beast's shared heart the Mercedes dragon spoke.

_Why wasn't I good enough for you Matt?_

The shock caused him to hesitate and the dragon ladies ripped him apart and each ate a half of him. Once digested, Matt woke up in the music room surrounded by glee club members, but the kids looked slightly different.

Finn had green pants and glasses, Quinn had red hair, Puck had on a Hawaiian shirt, Artie had an impressive looking upper body (Matt aint gay, but the dude looked ripped), Rachel was sitting in the corner alone with a pink hat on, and Matt had a yellow shirt and felt that his hair had grown into an afro. Oh, and Mr. Schue was a talking dog. Brittany walked in and sat down next to Matt in the back row.

_Hey Matt; isn't glee the super funnest thing ever!_

That didn't sound like Brittany, it wasn't that far off but it sounded too dumb even for her. Finn turned around in his chair to talk to her, when did he get glasses anyway?

_Brittany I couldn't agree with you more, it's even more fun than that time I faced Chloe Kardashian in the Mortal Kombat tournament._

Finn didn't say anything for a while; he just stared off into space. Matt assumed he was picturing the wacky event he had just described. Puck was the next to talk, with more of a shit eating grin than usual.

_Hey Matt, how does it feel to know that I pounded your girlfriend, your ex girlfriend, that girl you never had the courage to ask out in our Math class last year, and probably any woman you would ever want to date to in the future-giggity._

Matt wanted to say something back, but his words were coming out slow and with an accent that was not his own, then Rachel interrupted.

_Hey guys, anyone want to hear the new song I learned?_

Finn, who was out of his daydream now, threw a chair at her to sum up the feelings of everyone in the room. Mr. Shue (the talking dog in the sweater vest) stopped humping Quinn's leg long enough to begin the rehearsal.

_OK who wants to go first? Come on guys I know this was a tough assignment but I believe in you. How about you Matt? What song did you pick for the assignment "Matt is a complete idiot if he thinks his relationship with Brittany will work?" _

Matt didn't know what to say to that, he just sat there. He turned in his chair to try to talk to Brittany but she was currently having sex with Puck while everyone else cheered on. The only thing Matt could do was run out of the room in embarrassment. The new room he was in looked like Mike's basement. Everything looked normal, his close and hair were back to normal, but something seemed off. Then it clicked, this was a memory of the time Mike told him about the date he had with Brittany.

_Man, I'm telling you, her hands were all over me, it was like she was trying to find the cure for her disease in my mouth. But there is no cure for Chang – fever you just got to ride it out. And ride she did if you catch my drift._

Matt couldn't take it anymore.

_Shut up! Shut up! All of you need to leave me alone. I like her and she likes me and I'm going to make it work!_

_Of course you are sweetie, and then maybe you could climb Mt. Everest while doing a handstand. _

Matt looked around and realized he wasn't in Mike's basement anymore; he was in a tuxedo shop being measured by Kurt.

_Honestly sweetie, I know it's what the bride wants, but I cannot in good conscious let you get married in a baby blue tuxedo? I don't care what you think, you can't make it work._

_But why not? Even if it does look weird, it makes me feel better about myself._

_But the baby blue tuxedo has a track record; a lot of men have worn it. Personally, I could never do it, I tried it on but it was to heinous to keep. I'm just saying you have a lot of options and don't need to make a commitment that you will regret later._

_I know I have options, but I made my choice already, and this is what I want._

He had changed locations again; he was now in Fabray Park standing at a homemade wood-carved altar with Brittany beaming at him in her yellow dress. He looked around and all his groomsmen were in blue while all the bridesmaids were in yellow. It was a sun and sky themed wedding, two things that went perfectly together. Tina, the priest for his weeding, looked to Matt and began talking in a very un-priest like matter.

_Dude, this is your last chance. I know that she is the blonde cheerleader, and North America has turned that into the ideal woman, but don't you think maybe you should reconsider?_

_No, she is special to me._

_I bet, but if you look out to her wedding guests, she was special to a lot of other guys if you catch my drift. _

(What was it with Asians and catching drifts?) He looked out and saw the guys from the movie theatre staring back at him and crying their eyes out. He looked back at Brittany who was still only looking at him, and then it clicked. (What is it about Black guys and clicking?) Brittany was only looking at him; she only wanted him and nobody else. Those other guys may have had her for a little bit, but she wanted to be with and him only. And she made him happy, so if being with her was stupid, then they would be two happy idiots together.

_I'll take her_

_You sure?_

That gruff voice sounded like Coach Tanaka, and it was, the dream had changed again. He was in a used car dealership, looking at a cream colored minivan.

_But there are other cars in your price range, maybe you should try out another model that hasn't been test driven around the block so many times._

Matt looked at the car, and then towards Brittany beside him. She was looking gorgeous, and holding the hand of the most adorable little girl he had ever seen. (There was no denying it; that was his kid.) Both wearing nice sun dresses and matching pink floppy sun hats. He noticed Brittany's stomach sticking out a little, a lot actually. She wasn't fat; there was just a noticeable bump there. A bump that made his heart swell with pride.

_It's perfect, I'll take it._

Matt was snapped back into reality by the sound of his phone alarm going off. It was time to go to school. He would have preferred fighting the twin dragons again. After he parked his car at the school he headed straight toward his home room, hardly looking at anyone. He felt an arm lock with his, it was Brittany's.

_Hey, how are you feeling?_

He remembered that he faked being sick to avoid seeing her yesterday. After the event in the movie theatre he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her again. Luckily, Brittany was trusting enough to not see through his lame excuse.

_I'm fine now, thanks for the soup you sent over, it was really delicious. _

_No problem, I wanted you to get better as soon as possible so we could go to Sammie's this Thursday._

Matt was about to protest, but then he noticed how seemingly every other couple in the hall was having an argument. Girls were throwing tantrums about their boyfriends doing something wrong and not understanding their feelings.

_We don't have to go if you don't want to; I was just making a subjective. _

He looked at her and smiled, his Brittany would never be that dramatic. When she cared about someone, there were no games involved, just honesty. She wouldn't try to change him, she liked him as is. So he decided to cave this time.

_No that sounds great, what time should I pick you up?_

Was it what he wanted? No, far from it. But sometimes the things that are the most beneficial for you are the things you hate doing, like getting a shot at the doctors so you won't get sick, or not throwing a chair at Rachel so she will stay in the club. And damn right she was **HIS** Brittany.


	6. Chapter 6

_Good News Matthew, you're going to college!_

Matt paused his videogame and turned to look at his overly-excited mom. She had the same face splitting smile on her face that Brittany had when that squirrel ate that nut out of her hand yesterday.

_Let me see that._

Matt took the big envelope from his mother's hand. He thought they were supposed to be thick, people had told him they were supposed to be thick. But his mind calmed when he saw the **Congratulations **printed in bold face type through a little plastic window in the envelope.

_I'm so proud of you honey, I knew you could do it; the universe has a funny way of balancing itself out._

Matt should have been excited, lord knows he bitched enough about wanting to hear back from the schools he applied to, but he just couldn't get excited. The school was forty-five minutes from his house and nearly everyone else in his school applied there. It was so common that sometimes entire graduating classes would go there together like a freaky 13th grade. Matt wanted to meet new people and have new friends. How was he going to branch out and become important if he was surrounded by the same people? But he had to put on a happy face for his mom; this moment was just as big as a mile stone for her as it was for him.

_You were right, sorry for being so pessimistic._

_It's not easy to deal with disappointment Matt and I know you were really heartbroken over OSU, but things in life rarely turn out exactly the way you want them to. I hope this experience teaches you to keep trying even when plan A doesn't work. _

_I'll keep that in mind._

Matt had an epiphany the moment his mother shut the door, was he going to be in this pessimistic mood forever? He saw his father get up day after day for a job he hated with a scowl on his face. Tim Rutherford was an angry man who was mad at the world but never spoke to anyone about his feelings. When Matt was nine, he worked up the courage to ask his father about why he was always sad. His father told him that the scowl is the branding mark people get when they realize that they have hit the peak of their life and don't like what they see. A month later, Matt's dad shot himself in the head while Matt was at a sleepover at Mike's house. That sleepover lasted for a whole week while Matt's mom struggled to pull herself together and make arrangements for the funeral. She hadn't lied to Matt; she told him exactly what happened, which is something he appreciated as he got older. Not a lot of parents would have told the truth to their kids, but his mom was not most parents, she was better. So Matt always tried to put on a happy face for her so she wouldn't worry about history repeating itself; he would never leave her like that.

_Hello Brittany, it's me Matt. No I don't know where you left your hair clip. Brittany why would your cat need a hair clip? Never mind, the point is…I got into college. Brittany...ow…Brittany stop screaming you're going to break my phone!_

Needless to say Brittany was very proud of Matt, and she wanted to show him by turning their Thursday night date into a full day of celebration. In addition to a lot of kissing before school and between classes, she also got him his very own cowboy hat. It looked like something Raylan Givens would wear, which made Matt strut around the hallways with a bit more swagger than usual. That is until Puck called him Cowboy Curtis in front of the entire football team (the hat stayed in the locker after that)

Sammie's was a decent looking establishment. It looked clean and had an A in its window from the health inspector, but Matt had counted 4 confederate flags on cars in the parking lot alone so he was a little worried. Brittany noticed his wandering eyes and tried to calm him down.

_Don't worry Matt, there may be a lot of Croatian flags but you are still in America which means we have as much a right to be here as they do._

Well at least she said the name of an actual country. Yesterday she presented her history report on how the Silk Road was an alternate path to Emerald City. They walked into the club, there were a lot of large white men with grey beards drinking beer, and Matt was not a happy camper.

_Hey you!_

One of the grey beards was calling to him. Matt decided then and there that if this guy says something inappropriate, he would swing hard and tell Brittany to run out quickly and get help. It's not her fault that she was too trusting to see the ugly in people, but he was not going to be bullied in his own town.

_You Matt Rutherford? Timmy's boy?_

_Yeah._

_Sweet Jesus son I thought you and your mom left town. I'm Roger by the way, you probably don't remember me but I was good friends with your daddy and even held you once when you were a baby._

_Wow um, no we didn't leave; we're still in the same house. Yeah I think I remember seeing you at the funeral._

_I've seen you play ball a couple times, he would have been proud._

_Thanks._

_Hey Mo, couple more BR's over here. _

_Thanks, you don't need to-_

_It's not a problem; just don't tell your momma._

After a fun night of awkward square dancing (made a little less awkward by a small amount of underage drinking. Ok a lot of underage drinking) Matt said farewell to Roger and Brittany drove them home. Matt was a little too tipsy to drive but he did manage to walk Brittany to her house and back. There was no way he was letting her walk home alone at night in that sexy cowgirl outfit no matter how drink he was. After missing the door with his key the first time, Matt jammed it straight in the second time and opened the door. He stumbled into his room and passed out on his bed, still in his cowboy clothes.

Matt woke up the next morning (technically the afternoon) with a mild headache. It wasn't a big hangover, but it did keep him knocked out until 4:30. He knew he smelt like beer and wondered why his mom let him sleep in and if she would be mad at him for drinking. While in the shower, he had another mini epiphany. Those beers last night weren't because of his performance on the field; it was a memorial service for his dead father. Today was the anniversary of his father's suicide, and Roger got him drunk of his ass as an apology for not keeping in touch. Had it really been 8 years already? He couldn't believe he forgot. All the college drama and good times with Brittany must have distracted him. _"Good"_ he thought, he was finally happy and did not need the ghosts of Christmas past bringing him down.

But part of being a member of a family means that it is never just about you, other people are always affected. His poor mother had to spend the whole day by herself while he was passed out drunk. He would make it up to her, they would have a long talk at dinner and he would promise that he would call her everyday while he was away at college. He opened the door to apologize but heard his mom talking to someone in the house.

_Tell your dad I said thanks Rachel._

_It's not a problem Mrs. Rutherford, your late husband was a close friend of my dad's, he wishes he could be here with you but he is needed in court._

_Well tell him I said thanks for the food._

Matt slowly walked downstairs, surprising the two girls.

_Hello Matt._

_Hey Rachel._

_How are you feeling honey?_

_I'm alright mom. I'm sorry for-_

_Brittany called and explained. I didn't know Roger was still in town, I'll have to give him a call. Oh and Matt-_

_Yes._

_Let's try to keep the drinking to a minimum until you're in college okay?_

_Ok._

Matt was never a big drinker. Even at Puck's wild parties he only had one or two beers at the most. He usually volunteered to be the designated driver when he went out with friends so his mother had no need to worry.

Rachel stifled a giggle and then made her way to the door, Matt walked her out.

_Hey thanks for coming over and talking to my mom._

_It was no problem at all, you're dad was one of my dad's closest friends from college. He always tells me the story about once he started dating daddy his senior year; the only one of his fraternity brothers that still spoke to him was your father._

_Yeah, he could be a great guy when he wanted to be._

_Like father like son._

_Hey-_

_I didn't mean it like that. I mean that you are a caring person Matt. You may not verbalize it, but you are the only jock besides Finn who doesn't try to make Kurt's life miserable. You also never picked on me even though I'm sure you were peer pressured to do it at some point._

He nodded because she was right.

_You also have a lot of talent Matt. And when you're happy and fully engrossed in our glee performances, the whole club shines a little bit brighter. Mr. Shue told me himself, you're our little extra bit of umph that gives us the edge over the competition. You may not have my vocal talents but….the point is I like seeing you happy Matt; you deserve it after all you have been though._

_Thanks Rachel. _

After quick hug she was walking down the porch too her car.

_See you at school._

_Bye._

Matt entered his house and used his index finger and thumb to wipe away the water that was accumulating in his eyes. His mom was in the kitchen un-wrapping the food Rachel had brought over.

_Wow, this looks really good._

_Yeah, Rachel's fathers know their way around the kitchen. And they raised a really wonderful daughter; it's too bad she's such a terrible liar._

_What?_

_Her father called me today and told me Rachel volunteered to bring the food over and he didn't mention anything about being in court today to me. Plus, when you came down the stairs it's like the air left her lungs, it was the first time she was silent since I let her in._

_What are you saying?_

_The girl is in love with you Matthew. _


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Special thanks to the reviewers. Even if you don't review, all readers are appreciated.

_What'chu talkin bout Willis?_

_That's not funny Matt the man just died, and Rachel has the hots for you._

_No way, she's in love with Finn, tall goofy white boys are her thing. And judging by her relationship with Jesse, closeted gays may also be her thing but definitely not me. _

_Is all this protest because you like her back?_

_No, the protest is because your accusations are false…where are you going?_

_To get evidence._

He didn't know what she meant by "evidence" but she was already up the stairs. Maybe Rachel does like him, that doesn't mean anything though because he only has eyes for Brittany, right? Still, his mother is very intuitive, and what reason would she have to lie? Matt searched his brain for a reason as to why Rachel Berry would like him. The only story that came to mind was when they were six. A big kid pushed her down on the playground and called her a freak. Matt knew the scene he was watching was wrong but he didn't want to do anything that would alienate him from his peers. He searched the faces of the other kids first to see if they felt the same way he did. The ones who were paying attention were laughing their heads off. He looked around to see if his real friends were close by; this kid was way too big to fight alone. Puck and Mike were in time out for a prank they played earlier and Finn was having a staring contest with the sun at the moment so the only kid brave enough to stand up to the larger boy was Matt. And his dad just showed him Rocky III on video the night before so he was ready for a fight anyway. The fight ended more like the beginning fight of Rocky IV than Rocky III (meaning that Matt got his ass kicked by a Russian tank posing as a six year old). The teacher pulled the big kid off of him and Rachel wouldn't leave his side for the rest of the day. Wherever he went, she went. The other boys usually would have started picking on him at that point, but he stood up to the big kid so he was pretty much untouchable for that day at least. He didn't particularly like her (six year old boys hated girls, it was basically their only code of conduct) but he had been to her house a few times because their parents were friends so it wasn't like they were strangers.

_Ha, evidence!_

_What is it?_

_An adorable picture from your Aunt Mary's wedding. _

Matt looked at the old photo. A 5 year old version of himself was staring back at him with 5 year old Rachel by his side. She was the flower girl and he was the ring bearer.

_This only proves your ability to put me in a suite when I was 5._

_You don't remember that day do you?_

_Vaguely, I remember that was the day when I found out how much I hate coconut cake._

_You and Rachel were inseparable that day. You ate together, danced together; you even sang a duet with her at the reception._

_Oh God now I remember, you made me practice that song with her every day for a week. I was so sick of that song and the little dance we had to do. Oh the humiliation, I think I'm going to be sick._

Matt wrapped his arms around himself in fake agony while his mother was wondering if she had a videotape of that performance somewhere in the house.

_She kept announcing to the other guests that you two were going to get married someday._

_Yeah… she did._

_Old habits die hard I guess._

_But that was so long ago, we're different people now, and I have a girlfriend._

_I know, and I like Brittany, I think she's a wonderful girl._

_Then why the Rachel stuff?_

_Because part of me thought maybe you two would get married one day. I'm not saying I set a date or anything but one day you'll understand that when you have kids your mind starts to wonder about who they'll become when they get older. And when I thought about your wedding day, I usually saw you with Rachel. But you're right, you were just babies pretending back then, you might not have anything in common now that you two are teenagers._

Matt was so confused. He really liked Brittany, hell he had a dream odyssey about her, but he couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like if he and Rachel were more than just friends. No, he liked Brittany and she liked him, this Rachel stuff was just a phase that needed to pass. Hell, they were watching Star Wars on his couch together (Attack of the Clones because its Brittany's favorite and Brittany loves Jar Jar Binks) and he doubts Rachel would ever watch a movie without singing.

((_Maybe she would like Star Wars if you watched it with her.))_

Great, Matt was getting into another argument with himself. His subconscious was taking its usual form as his mother's voice.

_(Look Brain, I know mom has the ability to twist us around with her words, but we like Brittany.)_

_((Brittany is good enough, but is good enough really what we want?))_

_(Yes Brain, remember the long ass dream with the Family Guy references, I'm pretty sure that she is the one for us.)_

_((You think that now because you see her as the only option you have. You don't want to be alone so you hook up with the easy dumb girl.))_

_(Don't call her that.)_

_((You just did.))_

_(Leave me alone.)_

_((I have no animosity towards Brittany, but let's be real, she's a human puppy. She craves your attention and affection and follows you around waiting for a treat.))_

_(So I should dump her because she is a caring person? That makes no sense; she is always there for me and believes in me.)_

_((But she never challenges you; she never pushes you to be better. Rachel will scratch kick and claw you into becoming a better man and you know it. Brittany may have a suggestion every now and then like calling the admissions offices, but she caves too easily. She lets you walk all over her. You're a good guy and you try to respect her, but the girl has no opinions of her own. Your wish is her command, and having a girlfriend like that at your age is really awesome, but you will soon get tired of her. Why not end it now before things get too serious?)) _

Matt's subconscious was kind of a pervert. An ignorant pervert who needed to shut the hell up. That was his father's genes talking, the self destructive genes that snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The genes that would try to convince him to leave a good woman for a girl who is already in a relationship with someone else.

**Meanwhile, in Rachel's Brain…**

_(This is crazy, I love Finn.)_

_((Finn is ok for a high school boyfriend, but how long do you think you can stay attracted to his boyish charm, don't you want a real leading man?))_

_(But his boyish charm is what made me fall for him in the first place. He is so gullable and sweet, just like the hero in a princess movie.)_

_((But life isn't a princess movie.))_

_(Take that back right now.)_

_((Look, the reason you obsess over musicals is because they are a fantasy land you can escape to when the real world gets too hard. But you are going to have to live in the real world eventually. Even if you do 8 shows a week on Broadway for the rest of your days, your life will not be perfect, and you will need someone who will understand that and communicate with you, not just wait for you to stop talking.))_

_(Finn will mature when the time comes.)_

_((He may get older, but I'm not so sure about the maturity part. He may try to converse with you, but you can tell that his mind wonders after the first three minutes.))_

_(Who should I be with then?)_

_((Think about it, who is the one guy that you know other than Mr. Schuster who doesn't think farts or burps are funny?))_

_(Matt.)_


	8. Chapter 8

Today was the day when the Cheerios and the Titans gave back to the Lima community. A football player would be paired up with a cheerleader and they would go to a first grade class and read a story. Then they would tell them about all the exciting things one could look forward to in high school (The PG version anyway). Matt liked this event because he genuinely liked children; they were so excited to see big people take an interest in them. He read the story while Brittany sat with the children listening just as intensely when Matt used funny voices for the characters. She was also great with kids; four of them were fighting over who got to sit in her lap. They would make great parents, Brittany would be good cop and he would be bad cop. He was ok with that scenario because he knew that you had to be stern with kids to get their respect. And quite frankly, Brittany couldn't say no to anyone to save her life. He wouldn't be a task master but he wasn't going to let the kids run wild either. He wanted to uphold the ideas of what he thought a father/child relationship should be, even though his own was incomplete. As he and Brittany were walking out of one classroom, Rachel was going into another. What was she doing at the elementary school?

_Santana always says she dresses like a 5 year old._

_Santana should try to find another hobby instead of being mean._

_She just needs a good boyfriend, it worked for me._

_Really now?_

_Yeah, and I got the best one and I'm not sharing. _

They began to kiss lightly in the hallway, Brittany wanted to go further but Matt decided it would be better not to scar any of the small children so he persuaded her to hold off until they were in a more private location. She skipped out ahead of him; Matt had to find out what Rachel was doing in that classroom.

_For the love of God._ He muttered.

She was at a tiny piano teaching music to a bunch of 6 year olds…who looked handicapped. Rachel Berry was using her free time to teach music to special needs kids. Is she just determined to make everyone else look bad by comparison? The athletic department sponsored one afternoon of charity a year, and even then most of the jocks just bitched and moaned about it. Here Rachel was, looking like a Saint, helping kids learn to sing.

_Oh no_. He muttered again

Big brown eyes were locked and loaded on him through the little window in the door. He wanted to walk away and find Brittany, but it was already too late.

_Matt, what are you doing here?_

_Football thing, reading to the kids._

_That's so sweet, Finn didn't tell me you guys did stuff like that._

_Maybe it just slipped his mind, I can find out what room he is in if you want._

_No that's okay, could you do me a quick favor and come in here for a minute._

Before he knew what was happening he was inside the room and sitting on a little chair. It looked like a miniature version of the music room at his school. He shot a quick text to Brittany that he would be a little late and all she did was reply with "_K =)"_ and that was it. No interrogation or anger, the complete opposite of Santana, his Brittany was so trusting. Not that he was doing anything wrong; it just didn't sit well with him to be alone with Rachel with his current feelings. Rachel began talking to the kids.

_Places everyone, we have an audience member today. His name is Mr. Rutherford, everyone say hello._

_Hello Mr. Ruth_ (that's all the kids got out before their voices became a jumbled incoherent mess trying to pronounce the other syllables of his last name, a heartwarming mess.)

_Hey everybody._

_Today the little gold stars junior glee club will be performing "Dig in" by Lenny Kravitz._

Rachel sat down at the mini piano and started to play, the kids started to sing.

_It's time to face it__  
__Come on in and__  
__Join the party__  
__Life has been waiting__  
__For you to care__  
__Don't try to fake it__  
__Jump on in and__  
__Get it started__  
__There's so much lovin'__  
__For you to share__  
__There is nowhere to run__  
__There is no way to hide__  
__Don't let it beat you__  
__Say "Nice to meet you"__  
__And "Bye"_

Half black and half Jewish, how fitting for the situation. Rachel wondered how talented the children would be if she were to procreate with Matt? It didn't seem to unrealistic, between his good looks and her musical gifts they could produce a little Kravtiz army.

_Once you dig in__  
__Yeah, yeah, yeah__  
__And once you dig in__  
__You'll have yourself__  
__A good time__  
__Once you dig in__  
__You'll find it coming__  
__Out the other side__  
__And once you dig in._

Matt gave a standing ovation, those kids were great. They kept their chins up and had perfect smiles all the way through, something even he had trouble with occasionally. Rachel and the other kids took their bows; a second pair of clapping hands was heard from the door.

_It's lovely to see you in your element Berry. _

Santana was standing in the doorway. She seemed to have misplaced her broomstick but remembered her flying monkey who had taken the form of Finn Hudson.

_I didn't know you would be here today Rachel._

_Finn, I'm always here. Every Tuesday and Thursday you ask me what my after school plans are and I tell you that I am teaching music._

Not wanting to get involved, Matt slipped out the door with Santana following behind. She was obviously impressed with the damage she caused and she was looking to cause a little more.

_Matt and Man-hands, I never would have guessed it._

_There's nothing going on San. _

_I wonder if Brittany will see it that way._

He stopped in his tracks and looked her straight in the eye, something a lot of kids didn't have the courage to do. But he had just finished watching Rocky Balboa the night before so he was feeling courageous.

_She will believe me and you know it._

_Why? Because she's an idiot?_

_Stop it San, just stop it! We are together and you need to get over it._

_You give yourself too much credit Matthew; you really think I would waste my time trying to get your sorry ass back?_

_I know you don't feel… well… anything that can be described as a human emotion Santana. But somewhere in your circuits you are able to process bitterness, and you can't stand to see other people happy. You want other people to be miserable because you are miserable. _

_Wow Oprah, I feel like you really see the real me, are we gonna cry now and talk about our chocolate obsessions?_

_I'm out of here._

Matt stormed out of the building looking for Brittany. Rachel stuck her head out of the room and saw Santana standing by herself. Finn was busy being tackled by children so Rachel decided she would quench her curiosity.

_What did Matt want?_

_Oh, nothing, we were just laughing at a funny joke._

_What was the joke?_

Santana had a devilish smirk, something serial killers probably do when they know they have their prey cornered.

_The idea that he would ever leave Brittany for you._

_Wait…how is that a joke? I don't even like Matt that way. _

_Yeah? Then why was he the only audience member in your special ed concert?_

_First of all, I don't like your tone Santana; those kids work really hard and don't deserve to be referred to in such a condescending manner. Secondly, Matt was already watching through the window, I merely invited him in._

Santana's eyes widened a bit like she just got a juicy new piece of gossip to use against Rachel later on.

_Sure ya did. Look tranny, Brittany is my best friend and I would appreciate it if you stayed away from her boyfriend. As if you were competition anyway. She's a cheerio and he's a jock, and unlike your boy scout back there, Matt plays by the rules of high school. _

_Matt's not like the rest of you, he actually has a soul._

_Oh yeah, well Brittany has the body of a woman who has gone through puberty, so who do you think Matt's teenage boy hormones are going to lead him towards?_

And after that final bit of venom, Santana Lopez left to drink more virgin blood or whatever she did to stay perfect. As Rachel walked back to the classroom, she felt a sad song coming on.

_Hey Rach, I'm gonna take these kids out to the playground for some football, wanna come?_

_That's ok Finn, you go ahead._

_Ok, catch you later._

_Be Careful!_

But they were already out the door. Sad and alone, Rachel sat at the piano and began to play a song.

_There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;__  
__There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;__  
__And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.___

_There's a fine, fine line between love__  
__And a waste of time.___

_There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;__  
__And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."__  
__I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,__  
__But there's a fine, fine line between love__  
__And a waste of your time._

Rachel paused to the sound of clapping and shivered at the thought of having to deal with Santana again, but this clapping seemed more sincere.

_Hey Rachel_

_Hi Brittany._

_Can I come in?_

_Sure, why aren't you with Matt?_

_The football guys are playing with the kids on the playground; I came back in to find some chalk to draw a hop scotch board._

_Oh, I think there is some spare chalk in the supply closet, I'll go check. _

_Why were you singing such a sad song Rachel?_

_Well…um…I have to maintain a vocal and emotional range if I am ever going to become a Broadway star. _

_No, that was different from your usual singing. I know that song, Matt took me to see the show last month. The puppet was said when she sang that song because a boy puppet didn't like her…or maybe she didn't like that woman's hand so far up her butt. _

Rachel sat down in a little chair and Brittany sat down in the one next to her. Maybe there was a way for her to get the burden off her chest without being found out, it was Brittany after all.

_I've developed feelings for a boy other than Finn._

_Do I know him?_

_Yes._

_Is it Kurt?_

_No Brittany it isn't not Kurt._

_Oh, well why don't you tell this boy that you like him?_

_Because he is dating another girl, and she is way prettier than I am._

_Even if she is, that shouldn't stop you._

_But he seems happy with this girl._

_Do you know him well?_

_I used to. _

_Then you should try to reconnect with him. I mean, Finn used to be in a relationship with Quinn and you got him. Stealing boys away from prettier girls is kid of your thing._

_Thanks Brittany, I think I'll follow your advice._

**A/N:** First Songfic, hope you liked it. The second song is "There's a Fine Fine Line" from the puppet musical Avenue Q.


	9. Chapter 9

They had just lost to Vocal Adrenaline, Puck had lost his chance to be a father, and they were all about to lose the glee club. Everything was being taken away from them. Even Matt was emotional; he had grown to like this group of misfits everyone in school referred to as the "Gleeks." When Rachel called a special teammates only meeting, he was the one who suggested they sing "To Sir With Love" and he even volunteered to be the first one to tell Mr. Schuester how he felt about glee club.

_In the beginning of this year I was…just another football player. _

That was all he could say because he was not ready to be completely vulnerable in front of them yet. He had to hold some stuff back; he couldn't really tell them how much the club changed his life, so he left it vague. If people saw who he really was they might act differently around him, or worse, he might actually have to talk about his feelings. As the other Gleeks took their turns, Matt had his own interpretations of what they really meant as well.

_I had a stutter _

_(Really? Oh yeah I remember now, you did. You were trying to hide in plain sight just like me.)_

_I was a closeted diva _

_(There was nothing really closeted about it, you just had an audience for it now. But you do seem happier these days, and there's nothing wrong with that.)_

_I used to be captain of the cheerios._

_(And if it wasn't for the pregnancy, you would still be one and have your glorious reputation. You have been reduced to slumming it with us and even though you changed somewhat you still wish you could make things go back to the way they were.)_

_I was afraid to dance outside my room._

_(Yeah, but once you were inside a safe place there was no stopping you Chang; freaking break dancing ninja.)_

_I hated everyone in this club. _

_(You still do.)_

_So did I._

_(Brittany is lying to make Santana seem less bitchy than she really is. Santana is the only person she would do that for.)_

_I wasn't honest about who I was._

_(You may not have admitted but trust me; we all knew. Still, you didn't deserve what you were put through.)_

_I was tossing kids in the dumpster. _

_(An activity which recently had became less common at the school. Maybe Puck really was trying to become a man instead of an insecure bully.)_

_I had never kissed a girl before_

_(Damn. Well, better late than never. Congratulations Artie.)_

_And I was getting slushied._

_(And even though it probably killed your self –esteem, you never showed it. You tried to put on a confident face like me, and you found a slightly dim witted companion to confide in like I did. We have more in common than I thought.)_

_I…I didn't have a father. Someone I could look up to, model myself after…someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man._

_(…)_

Matt didn't know what to think. There was no way to dissect or make fun of what Finn just said because it was the truth. Finn had just spilled his soul in front of the whole club. Matt's emotions were a mixture of sadness and envy. Where was his role model? Granted he was lucky enough to know his father were Finn didn't, but Matt needed one now just as badly as Finn did. His mother dated a few times, he met a few of her boyfriends, but he never saw any of them as more than strangers passing by. Some of them were really nice and really tried to be the male influence his mother knew he needed, but he didn't want them, he wanted his father. Now he's almost 18, confused about his relationship with Brittany, and has no father figure to talk to man to man. As he watches the other members sing, all of them were crying or on the verge of crying. Even Santana was crying. Just to put that in perspective, Santana thought Bambi's mom being killed was justified because the hunters needed food. Matt wasn't an animal lover, but Brittany was, and she would always cry for at least four hours every time she saw a dead deer on the road. When they finished the song, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Matt got up to walk away about the same time Puck did, both feeling inappropriate about crying in front of the others.

_Matt wait._

_Rachel…can this wait? There's something I got to take care of._

_I saw your reaction during Finn's confession; you obviously took it to heart._

_Yeah well, dude needed a father and he got one, good for him._

_And you need one too._

Matt didn't like this, he felt naked. She was reading his mind. Damn, maybe she did have special abilities. Seeing Brittany out of the corner of his eye, Matt tried to make an escape.

_Hey Brittany, do you want to get out of here._

_Santana and I have to re-apply our makeup. If Coach Sylvester knew we were crying she would hang us upside-down and make us do crunches for three hours. _

_Oh…ok I'll call you later._

Brittany went in for a kiss, and then she started whispering in his ear.

_Talk to her Matt, she's really smart and maybe she can help you feel better._

_But I want to be with you._

_I know, but you keep things hidden from me and I love you too much to push you about it. Rachel's pushy, really pushy; I want her to help you._

_Brittany...I can't_

_I love you too, and I need you to get better so I can make you just as happy as you make me._

Everyone had left the auditorium; Rachel and Matt were sitting on the end of the stage. Matt was not going to talk first. Rachel initiated this little therapy session and he wanted to let her talk first to test how much she really knew about him.

_Remember when your mom picked us up from elementary school after that big kid beat you up?_

_Yeah._

_She looked like she was the one in pain even though you were the one who took the abuse._

_Yeah, ha, always the drama queen._

_That was her maternal instincts kicking in. Her baby had been hurt and she was scared half to death. I felt so guilty that I caused both of you pain._

_That kid was psychotic; someone had to stand up to him. _

_And that meant a lot to me, I felt like a Disney princess being saved by a handsome prince._

_Really?_

_Yes, but I was also jealous. You had a mom to kiss your cuts and hold you in her arms. I have my dads, but it's not the same, I wanted a mom. _

_I heard Shelby adopted Beth, that must have been hard for you I'm sorry. _

_It was, it still is, my therapist basically lives with us now. _

_Rachel…what does any of this have to do with me?_

_Children need to be exposed to both genders Matt, its why both are needed to create life to begin with. I love my gay dads and I am a stern believer in gay adoption, but being without my mom my whole life made me feel incomplete. And even though you had that male role model in your childhood, I think you are feeling incomplete now._

_Don't talk about him that way, he wasn't just some "male role model" he was my flesh and blood father. I wouldn't be on this earth without him. _

_And he left you._

_You don't know what you're talking about. He was sick; we don't know what he was going through._

_Stop making excuses for him; he took the coward's way out. Strong people get help Matt, they don't abandon their wife and child. _

_This is bull shit and you don't know what you're talking about._

He was halfway to the door when Rachel spoke again.

_I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but at least talk to Mr. Schuester. _

_I don't need to talk to him, this doesn't concern him! Besides, he's already playing surrogate father to Quinn, You, Finn, even Puck goes to him for advice. God! Why does half this club have daddy issues? It's like a freaking lifetime movie!_

_He won't mind one more, trust me. If he can deal with me then talking with you will be a piece of cake._

_It's not his problem…I can't just drop this mess on him. I can't be someone else's problem, not after…._

The tears are flowing now and he can barely speak.

_If I was stronger….better….my dad would still be here. It's my fault, he was already so stressed, I….I pushed him to do it. _

He is sobbing into Rachel's shoulder. She is holding him; her voice is strong and direct.

_You didn't do anything wrong you hear me, nothing. You can't go through life blaming yourself for something you couldn't prevent. He did it to himself. There are people here who love you Matt. And when people love one another they can share their pain without the fear of rejection. Your father didn't believe in that but I beg you, don't shut us out of your life._

Matt is calming down, he starts chuckling in between gaps for air.

_What is so funny?_

_Brittany basically told me the same thing months ago._

Rachel let out a little laugh pulled back to look Matt in the eyes, a smile smiling forming on both of their faces.

_She's smarter than we give her credit for. _


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Yeah Chapter 10! Thanks for all the kind reviews everyone. Hope you continue reading and reviewing because your comments inspire me to write more.

Matt knew that Rachel was right, she was always right. He should stop blaming himself for his father's suicide, it wasn't his fault. But after years of believing something, it's hard to convince yourself otherwise. He wasn't ready to talk to Mr. Schue, he still wasn't sure that a Spanish/Show choir teacher had the right training to deal with his problems. There is a big difference between "Hey Mr. S, I'm having trouble hitting this note" and "Hey Mr. S, I'm having trust issues after my father's suicide."

Later that night, Brittany and Matt were lying on a blanket under the stars in Fabray park. Yeah, it's cheesy as hell, but so is being high school sweet-hearts.

_Which constellation do you think that one is Matt?_

_I have no idea, I never really learned about the stars._

_I think that's the big diaper._

_I think you mean big dipper._

_Hey, you can't say you don't know anything about stars and then correct me, that's cheating!_

She turned over on her side and started tickling him. His one weakness and she was a master at it. She had him begging for mercy in less than 30 seconds. Brittany was merciful, and laid her head on his chest to track the beating of his heart.

_I like how the worst thing you do is tickling._

_I feel like if I do anything worse you'll start to cry. You're kind of a girl Matt._

_Am not._

_Really? I tell you I think we should spend some alone time under the stars and all you do is lay there looking up at the sky?_

_You were the one inventing your own constellations._

_I was waiting for you to make your move, but you didn't. _

She sounded a little disappointed

_What kind of guy do you think I am?_

He said in a sarcastic tone.

_I thought you were straight._

That was the final straw. Matt flipped over on top of her… and let's just say he was glad they were shielded by some bushes. He knew Brittany was experienced, he just didn't know how intense she would be. After ripping his shirt in half and leaving a trail of kisses down his stomach she unbuckled and ripped his belt off with one hand. The other hand was dumping out the contents of her purse. Matt looked over to see that there were about 15 condoms on the blanket now. Did she really expect him to need that many? He knew there were certain expectations for black men, but he wasn't freaking Ron Jeremy! The sex was passionate, really passionate. Now Matt knew why they called it the beast with two backs. If any of the guys asked him about this night, he would probably have to understate it because nobody would believe the truth.

_That…(gasps) was…(gasps)...great._

_Mhmmm. You definitely hit top 10 status._

Ouch…that really hurt. She was the second girl he had ever slept with and he was only a semifinalist for her. She was making his nads feel so good a few seconds ago, and now it was like she was kicking them.

_Oops. Was that a bad thing to say?_

_Kind of, yeah._

_I'm sorry._

She began kissing his neck.

_You want to try for the top 5._

_I'm gonna need a minute. _

_Alright but none of that "I have a headache" crap._

_Yes ma'am._

He had to distract her, he needed more recovery time. He needed to find something shiny.

_Matt do you love me?_

That would have to do.

_I think so._

Smooth Rutherford, so very very smooth.

_That's not an answer._

_You know it's hard for me to say how I feel. But I know this, after my mom, you are the most important person in the world to me._

_Oh…._

_Was that weird?_

_Comparing me to your mom after what we just did…a little?_

_Not compared! I just-_

_Matt I'm joking calm down._

She placed her head on his chest again, tracing small circles in his chest. He was playing with her blonde locks.

_Santana says that I shouldn't encourage you to spend time with Rachel. _

_It's really none of her business._

_I know but she's just trying to look out for me. She knows that I trust too much and she doesn't want me to get hurt, is there something between you and Rachel?_

She looked worried, scratch that, scared.

_You are the only person I want to be with, Santana is just trying to get me in trouble._

_Why would she do that? She told me she doesn't like you anymore._

_I don't think it's about me. She just hates being the only one of her friends without a boyfriend. That girl hates the idea of anyone having something she doesn't; thank god she's an only child. _

_She always gets sad when I talk about the boys that I like._

_Then maybe she loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you._

The worry was leaving her face and was replaced with a more serious and thoghtful look.

_I don't even think I can stand spending that much time with Santana._

"Cause life goes on. How many brothers fell victim to the streets"

_That's daddy's ring._

_Do not answer that!_

_I have to; he'll think something's wrong if I don't._

Brittany answers the phone, Matt begins to pray.

_Hey daddy what's up?...I'm with Matt right now and we just had sex._

Matt wondered what would be the quickest route to Canada from Lima. English was the only language he was fluent in so Mexico was out of the question. Who was he kidding? Mr.B was gonna call Nunzio, Nunzio was gonna call Santana, and Santana was going to kill him.

_Yes we used a condom, you always taught me to be careful. I'll ask him._

She turns to look at Matt.

_Dad wants to know if you want to talk about the sex we just had, he promises he isn't mad._

_No that's ok I don't need to speak with him, tell him I'm taking you home right now._

_I thought we were going to do it again._

_Brittany, I pray this is the last time I ever have to say this in my life, but I can't have sex with you right now, I need to take you home. _

She was pouting at him but Matt would not budge. He had withstood the Brittany pout, another accomplishment for the great Matt Rutherford. They had dressed and loaded up everything in the car. Luckily Matt had a jacket to put on considering the shirt he had worn was now a vest.

_Sorry about the shirt._

_It's alright; it was an old rag anyway. _

"But I feel alive and I feel it in me up and up I keep on climbing higher and higher and higher  
higher and higher and higher." This time it was Matt's phone going off.

_Puck says they're a bunch of gay._

_Puck was just being defensive because he's not ready to admit his love to Kurt yet. _

_I could see that happening. Are you gonna answer it?_

_I can't, I'm driving._

_And people call Finn the Boy Scout._

_There is nothing lame about being safe. _

_I'm pretty sure that's the definition of lame. Here, let me get it._

She digs into his coat pocket and pulls out his phone.

_It's a text from Rachel._

_Oh…well it's probably a mass text out to the entire club about summer practices or something glee related._

Another lie that only Brittany would believe.

_Then how come my phone didn't start singing Blah Blah Blah._

Damn; she was evolving. Soon she would become self aware and he would have to think of better lies.

_I'm gonna be honest Matt, my girlfriend senses are telling me to read this text and that I might not like it. _

_I'd like it if you didn't. It's my phone Brittany and that message is probably personal._

_What's so personal that you can tell Rachel but not me?_

She was getting that sad face again. Yelling and insults he could handle, but Brittany's attack strategy was much more diabolical. She could turn any disagreement they had into her being the victim and him being a jerk without saying a word. Which begged the question, was Brittany dumb or did she just realize at an early age that she could manipulate people into doing her bidding?

_You can read it if you want, I'm sure it's nothing. _

A smug little smile formed on her face, she was very pleased with herself. Matt took a little longer to crack than other boys, but he was still a boy.

_She wants to know if you talked to Mr. S yet._

_I didn't._

_Should I text back?_

_No that's enough; I don't want you getting into a conversation with her pretending to be me._

They pulled into Brittany's driveway. She wanted him to come in and talk to her parents; he was fine right where he was. If he was a marked man, he wanted to at least get a head start. After making a few detours, Matt finally made it home. It wasn't until he got in the shower, alone with his thoughts, did he realize that this was the best night of his life. Everything was going so well and he couldn't be happier. He loved Brittany, he honestly did, and he was going to tell her that the next time he saw her. Matt was drying off in his room when he heard his phone ring again. It was 12: 30 at night, who would be calling him this late?

_Hello?_

_Matt, it's me, Rachel._

_It's kind of late Rachel._

_I know but I sent you a text a couple of hours ago and you didn't text back and I couldn't go to sleep with a clear conscious unless I heard from you…and this is sounding really stalker-ish isn't it?_

_Just a bit. Kind of reminds me of that chick from Swim Fan._

_Gosh! That movie makes people think that every girl with a crush is crazy._

_She killed people, she was crazy._

_She was in love. Change of subject, why haven't you talked to Mr.-_

_I'll do it when I'm ready._

_You know I'm not going to stop pestering you until you do. _

_You can't do this Rachel. I know you mean well but Brittany is getting suspicious and Santana is adding buckets of fuel to the flame every chance she gets. _

_Oh…I'm sorry, the last thing I want to do is cause problems for your relationship. _

_Thanks Rach, I'll talk to you later._

_Good night Matt. _


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Special thanks to **spazzmanaray** for all the fantastic reviews.

It was selection day for the Allen County All-Star high school football camp. Every high school football coach in the county selected two of their top varsity players to go to the two week summer camp to improve their skills. Coach Tanaka selected Matt and Finn to represent McKinley High. Everyone knew Finn was going to automatically get one of the slots because of his size. Frankenteen wasn't that skilled, but he had the potential to be great, he just needed the right coach. Matt was shocked that he was selected for the second slot. He was the type of player who did his job and kept his head down, not really looking for glory. Brittany was ecstatic; she demanded that he attend a celebratory dinner at her house.

_Congratulations Matt, I guess even Coach Tanaka can recognize talent when it's right in front of his face. _

_Thanks Mrs. B, I'm still shocked though, coach never really showed that much of an interest in me._

_Puck says you got it in for polishing his knob. When did you start doing janitor stuff Matt?_

_I think he was joking Baby doll._

_He sounded serious to me daddy._

_He was insinuating that Matt was having sex with the coach sweetie._

_Mom!_

Matt couldn't believe that after all the weird things he watched his girlfriend do, she would finally do something normal. She was blushing because her mom had mentioned statutory gay sex; just like a normal teenager.

_I can assure you guys that I would never cheat on your daughter, especially with coach Tanaka._

They all shared a friendly laugh. It was nice eating with Brittany's family. Of course, there were the incredibly awkward moments where Mr. B would try to coach Matt on the finer points of foreplay, but those were becoming more bearable with time. Brittany also enjoyed these dinners, but she liked eating with Matt and his mom just as much. Brittany idolized Matt's mom. She thought Mrs. Rutherford was the coolest women on the planet. Matt was a bit on edge whenever dinners were held at his house. He would always meet with Brittany for at least two hours before the meal to go over what was inappropriate conversation at the Rutherford house. Brittany swore she would try really hard not to embarrass him, but the only thing predictable about Brittany was her unpredictability.

_These greens are delicious Mrs. Rutherford._

_Well thank you Brittany, its nice cooking for someone who appreciates it._

_You boil water, cut the greens, and put them in the pot, simple._

_Oh, well if it's so simple then I'll be expecting you to do it more often Matthew. _

_Well that's the thing mom; I don't really care that much about getting my daily dose of vegetables._

_Oh! Can I cook with you next time Mrs. Rutherford? Pleaasssseeeeee._

_Haha, of course you can Brittany. Someone has to make sure Matt doesn't get a blocked up colon._

_Mom!_

The camp was grueling. Workouts, film, practice, workouts, film, practice. It was a rigid routine that felt more like the military than football. Being roommates with Finn made it a little easier considering he was one of the few football players he could tolerate.

_You hang up first. No you hang up first._

There were some drawbacks though. Rachel had to talk to him every night from dinner until lights out. It was like she had to recount every single second of her day to Finn like he was keeping historical records or something. Poor guy, he didn't even get a chance to talk, all he said was _ok_ and _sounds good_ over and over again. He and Matt didn't really talk that much except for minor pleasantries.

_How's Rachel?_

_She's good. How's Brittany?_

_She's good._

Brittany was much more simplistic. She never called him because she understood that made you a target for hazing. But every night at 10 o'clock before they had to go to bed, she would text him a message like "I miss you" or "I love you" or "Puck wants to know if you enjoy being Finn's prison bitch"

_Alright Hudson this is all in your hands now, so don't blow it._

The coach was unaware that Finn does not respond well to this type of pressure.

The last day of the camp was the big game between the West All-Stars and the East All-Stars. During the first 13 days they were all just kids trying to survive the brutal camp drills, but on the last day they turned into gladiators battling for glory. Scouts from all the top colleges were in attendance, family members held huge signs and cheered their hearts out, and local TV cameras followed the action on the field. The East side was leading 17-14 in the 4th quarter with 1:42 left on the clock. The only reason the Western team had any points was because Matt had returned two interceptions for touchdowns. He was on fire, and he felt like a God. All he needed was a better coach and some better teammates, and he could get a football scholarship no problem.

_Hudson drops back for the pass…and he's sacked. It's a fumble, the East is going to recover and it looks like they plan on running out the clock._

Life has a funny way of humbling people, even football Gods. None of the players from the West side would even look at Finn, placing the blame on him for losing the game. It wasn't his fault, they knew they won or lost as a team, but it was easier to blame Finn than blame themselves. Matt sat down next to his teammate on the bus ride back to Lima even though the entire team thought Finn deserved to die alone.

_How's it hanging Hudson?_

Finn was on the inside of the seat with his head drilled into the back of the seat in front of him. He had let the guys down and just wanted to be left alone.

_You shouldn't be sitting with me, I'm a loser._

_Says who?_

_Everyone, they haven't actually said it but I know it's what they're thinking._

_You had a bad game, so what? It's just a camp scrimmage._

_Easy for you to say, you dominated out there and got the attention of the scouts. The other guys and me, we got nothing to show for it, and it's all my fault._

_Damn right it is!_

A pissed off voice screamed back from the front of the silent bus.

_There a problem up there?_

The bus was silent again, Matt was in Shaft mode, and nobody had the balls to say anything else.

_Thanks man._

_Not a problem. And the loss was not your fault. You didn't get any blocking or help from the running game, there's not much you could have done._

_You should look into transferring to another school Matt; seriously, your talents are wasted at McKinley._

_Yeah but the girl I love is there, so I guess I'm stuck._

_Yeah I know what you mean; I love Rachel more than anything._

Finn's comments were getting a little bit too feminine for Matt's taste. Maybe living with the Hummel's did warp his personality a little, or maybe Frankenteen was really in love. Finn just went on and on about how Rachel was the most perfect thing God had ever created.

_She's so determined, energetic, compassionate, her hair smells like fruit all the time, she has cute animal sweaters, she explains my math homework in ways that I can understand, and she would never cheat on me._

Matt kept his mouth shut, letting Finn get all the estrogen out of his system. Maybe he should tell Finn that Rachel was in love with him. But he decided against it because that would just be downright rude, especially after the game he just had. Finn's phone started to vibrate, he picked it up and started talking to you know who.,,

_Hey baby…thanks it means a lot to here you say that. Yeah some of them are being jerks but Matt's sticking up for me…ok._

He pushes the phone towards Matt.

_She wants to talk to you._

Matt was not in the mood to talk to Rachel right now because it seemed like it was physically impossible for her to engage in small talk. All conversation had to be big and dramatic. But Matt had just finished playing the best game of his life, so Rachel Berry didn't seem so intimidating.

_What's up?_

_You tell those Neanderthals to leave my Finn alone._

_You know if I tell them that, especially if I use those words, that both of us will be dead before we get off the bus right?_

_I don't care about your stupid male ego alright, he's upset right now and he didn't do anything wrong, it's just a stupid game._

_Its one bus ride, I think he'll live._

_He's sensitive ok, he's not Mr. Tough Guy like you. Just keep him together until I can get to him._

_Geez, alright I'll protect Wonder Boy._

_Thank you very much, now let me speak to him._

Matt hands the phone back.

_Hey…I know….I am…..I am….I love you too, bye baby. God I love that girl._

Matt realized that his mom had been wrong about Rachel. She cared so much about Finn, and Finn needed her. Maybe having too much in common was the reason why he and Rachel would never work. That's what he was thinking; what he was about to say was a joke about Finn and Rachel having matching menstrual cycles, but his phone was ringing, Brittany was calling him.

_Hey Babe did you see me play? _

_Yes I did and I'm very disappointed in you Matt. Why didn't you share the ball with any of your teammates?_

_I'm on defense Brittany I'm not supposed to._

_Oh….then I'm very proud of you baby! Rachel and I were watching the game at my house and-_

_Hold on, you and Rachel were watching sports together. Did either of you understand anything that was going on._

_No…but we made up an entire back-story for the game. Rachel and I decided that the teams were opposing street gangs in 1950's New York._

_Let me guess, we were fighting over a girl._

_Maaatttt, what did I tell you about spoiler alerts? I'm still mad at you from last time._

_I'm sorry B, but who doesn't know that Bruce Willis is dead the whole time? You even mentioned it yourself before we put the DVD in._

_I knew he was supposed to be dead….but then I forgot. Then you started talking about it and ruined the entire ending._

_I'm sorry baby._

_It's ok. Hey put Finn on the phone I got to talk to him._

Matt gave the phone to Finn, listening intensely for any funny quotes he could put up on his Facebook page later.

_Hey Brittany…yeah….that sounds interesting. Wait a minute...am I a jet or a shark? Well I like sharks…but jets are cooler because they can fly and stuff so I like jets more. Yeah…Uh-huh…but that would mean…oh my God you're right. Yeah…ok…I'll talk to your later… bye._

He hung up the phone without even letting Matt say goodbye. Finn had a weird look on his face. A look that said he had just acquired new knowledge.

_Dude…did you know that the people that kid in 6__th__ sense was talking to were..._

Finn lowers his voice to a whisper so only Matt could hear.

_Just actors pretending to be dead?_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: This chapter is about Matt and Brittany facing adversity as an interracial couple. I love glee, but I'm also a little disappointed with the Mercedes/Quinn arc and some of the stuff they make the Mercedes character do. Please R&R…yeah it's a fanfic cliché but I feel like I should say it anyway.

_Quinn said it was a lot like being pregnant._

_Wow….that's all kinds of wrong._

_But Quinn is so smart, she's usually right about everything._

_Well she's wrong about this._

Brittany called Matt over to her house because she wanted to celebrate Black History Month in June. Matt wasn't sure how this idea got into her head but his protests were powerless against the usual Brittany enthusiasm.

_What country was Martin Luther the King of?_

_He wasn't an actual king that was just his last name._

_How come Malcolm changed his last name to X instead of some other letters?_

_Because X is the symbol of the unknown in Math._

_What's with the math stuff I thought we were talking about Black stuff?_

Well at least she cared about his culture. Matt sure as hell didn't give a damn about Brittany's ancestors; he just wanted to thank them for passing on such good looking family traits.

_Why aren't there any NAACP songs on itunes?_

_Because they aren't a music group._

_I thought they did "Straight out of Compton."_

_No, that was N.W.A._

Brittany was getting frustrated, something Matt rarely saw. Unlike other subjects, she really wanted to know these answers and hated getting them so utterly wrong.

_What's wrong Britt?_

Matt was rubbing her shoulders as her eyes started to become red. 

_I don't know any of this stuff._

_It's ok Britt, it's not like you're taking a test on this stuff._

_Yeah but if I don't learn about Black stuff, then I'll never become black, and then we'll have to break up._

_What? Who the hell told you that crap?_

_A guy at Sammy's. I went there with my dad last Thursday, a man recognized me from our date a while back and told me that we were different colors and shouldn't be together._

_Oh my God. Brit I-_

_So I decided that I want to be black because I don't want to lose you._

Tears were falling now, making Matt's rage soften into concern. He engulfed her in a hug, letting her cry it out on his shirt.

_Brittany, that guy at Sammy's was an idiot. There is no rule against us being together, the only two people who have a say in our relationship is us. Also…you can't become black…I'm sorry if that disappoints you. _

_Mmm…Mike said he did it._

_Just because he can dance doesn't make him black. Neither does being pregnant or performing Good Vibrations in glee club._

_Then how do you become black._

_It's not something you can become Brittany, black people are born black._

She was calming down a little bit. Matt wasn't used to dealing with this many tears on a regular basis. Brittany was so naïve that he couldn't help but want to comfort her and kill whatever was making her upset.

_I still want to learn more._

_Ok._

_How many black presidents were there before Obama?_

_None, Obama was the first._

_Really? But there have been like…dozens of presidents, how could there be only one black one?_

_Well, minorities haven't always been given equal treatment in this country. There used to be laws preventing blacks from voting, attending schools with white students, and I would probably be killed by the Klan for talking to you._

_Black people couldn't vote?_

_Not always._

_Does everyone know about this?_

_Most people do._

_Where would you have gone to school?_

_Mercedes and I would probably be in some shitty sub-standard school across town._

_And by the Klan, do you mean those ghosts who set lower case "t" on fire?_

_They aren't ghosts and they sure as hell don't burn letters._

_I would never let them get you Matt. We would run away to Canada together. Mercedes too, and Santana, and Mike, and whoever else was being mistreated. I would get my dad to rent a bus and we wouldn't stop until we saw Maple trees._

_That's sweet Brittany, but luckily we don't have to do that now. _

Matt was comforted by how willing Brittany was to maintaining their relationship. He never really stopped to consider that she may also be on the receiving end of judgmental looks, not just him. Matt noticed a few hateful glances when he would walk down the street with Brittany, he would never admit how much it hurt his feelings; he thought he had to stay strong for her.

_Britt._

_Yeah?_

_Did your dad hear what that guy at Sammy's told you?_

_He was busy ordering our drinks, I told him about it later in the car ride home._

_What did he say?_

_He told me the guy had a point._

Matt was shocked. Mr. B always seemed so kind and generous; the kind of guy he wishes his father was like. He had never so much as blinked the wrong way at Matt, but people are good at hiding behind smiling masks, he sure was.

_What else did he say?_

_He said...oh he said that he has no problem with you as a person; he just knows that if we continue our relationship we will have a tough road ahead of us. He thinks it would be easier for us to date our own race, but neither of us run track so I don't know what race he was talking about._

_Are you sure he doesn't hate me._

_No Matt of course not. It's not us he is worried about; he just doesn't want me to be alienated that's all._

If Brittany was going to be guilty by association, than what kind of treatment awaited Matt? He was hurt by Mr. B's comments, mostly because they were true. There would always be this cloud following them around, raining on their happy relationship. People would always do double takes when he met her in a public place. His guess being that Brittany told them she was waiting for her boyfriend, and they were not expecting him. It would be easier if they were the same color.

_But you wanna know what I told him?_

She was playing with the strings on his hoodie now; Brittany could never sit still…ever.

_What did you say?_

_I told him that if you're an alien then I wanna be an alien too._

Then again, love is never easy no matter what the parameters are. Screw what Brittany's dad or anyone else thought; he was black and she was probably mentally handicapped, most people weren't going to like them anyway.


	13. Chapter 13

All the kids in glee seemed to have this cheesy after-school special kind of love for Mr. Schue. Even the cheerios seemed to accept him as a parental figure. So when Rachel took it upon herself to make him a father's day card, everyone in the group signed it willingly. It was weird how the handwriting for the signatures revealed so much about the personalities of the kids. Quinn, Rachel, and Kurt had extremely professional looking cursive handwriting. Finn and Puck signed their names crooked and the letters were all different sizes. Artie, Tina, and Mercedes did bubble letters, Mike liked putting designs around his letters. Santana's name just had to be the biggest one on the page and Brittany signed her name by gluing a picture of an upper case "B" she found in a magazine. Rachel had gone to all the kids' houses individually and made them sign her home-made card. Matt was the last house on her journey.

_Hello Matthew, if it isn't too much trouble, I was wondering if you could sign this father's day card I made for Mr. Schue?_

_Sure Rachel, when are you going to give it to him?_

_I'm not, you are._

_Come again?_

She had obviously not forgotten the little therapy session Matt was supposed to have with their glee coach, which is why he was trying to avoid her at all costs.

_Why me Rachel? Aren't there any Bp executives you can harass?_

Rachel's entire demeanor transformed, no really, it was like Matt had said some magic word that transformed Rachel's outer appearance into the flesh eating demon that was her personality.

_They will get theirs in due time…right now my focus is on your mental health._

_This is such bull shit._

_Watch your mouth Matthew! A child could hear your curse words, repeat them in their day-care, and before we know it Lima, Ohio will be full of cursing babies._

_But there aren't any babies around._

_That's not the point!_

Matt sighed in defeat. He told himself that some day he would have the will power to outlast Rachel Berry's craziness. But as he was climbing into his car, all he could think about was getting the card to Schue so he could get back to enjoying his vacation. He remembered the directions from the pre-regionals pizza party, but what he was not expecting was Santana Lopez sitting on a bench outside the building…crying.

_Santana…are you okay?_

Matt was concerned for her. Whether he liked it or not, Santana was his first love, his first everything, she was always going to have a place in his heart. It was kind of like becoming a vampire; you would always have a special link to the vampire that turned you. Not that Santana was a vampire…he hoped.

_Oh…it's you._

She was still crying but her lips were smiling. One of those "great what else can go wrong?" smiles. But why was she crying? Lopez never cried. Maybe whatever helpless creature she was tormenting escaped because that was the only reason he could think of for Santana crying.

_Don't tell anyone at school about you finding me like this ok?_

_Who would believe me?_

_Haha, right because I'm super bitch._

She ended that sentence with a flood of new tears. Even though she was a bitch, Matt didn't like the way she said those words. It was like she was disgusted with herself. Matt sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. She pushed him back with an angry shove.

_Sorry…I was just trying to help._

_Oh yeah I bet little Brittany just melts when you put an arm around her shoulder. She curls into a little ball in your arms and you two watch "Enchanted" together._

_Actually, last time it was "The Fox and the Hound." Brittany said a character in "Enchanted" looked like Rachel's mom and it was giving her nightmares._

_God she's such an idiot. Such a beautiful fucking idiot._

_Why are you outside Schue's apartment San?_

_Why are you Mr. Nosey?_

_Rachel is making me drop off the father's day card._

_That's kind of cruel considering your dad blew his brains out…I'm sorry-_

_Damn right you are. Sorry for worrying about you super bitch._

_Matt don't go…I know that was a really messed up thing to say. I'm just mad okay…really really mad._

_That was a very fucked up thing to say. You know you were the first person I ever told the whole story too. God San, I opened up to you, and now you're gonna throw it back in my face as an insult?_

He should leave; he should punch her in the gut then leave. But Matt rarely seems to be doing the smart thing anymore so he tries to change the subject before people think he is the reason she's crying.

_Why are you here? Did you talk to Shue?_

_Yeah, he's actually really helpful with this kind of stuff._

_You need help? Come on San, isn't the whole "stone cold bitch on the outside but really a sad little girl on the inside" a little bit too clichéd for you? _

_How's this for a cliché, I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back._

_Me?_

_No moron, your girlfriend._

Things got really quite for a moment. Matt was processing the big reveal while Santana was cursing herself for saying too much.

_Well…I guess that explains why you keep trying to break us up._

_Oh God Matt, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I find myself doing things for Brittany that I would never do in a million years for anyone else._

_I know the feeling. So are you…gay?_

_I don't know, I'm not really attracted to any other girl besides Brittany. I still like boys, but Brittany's special. But you already know that, because she loves you._

_And I love her too, but if it's any consolation, she thinks you're amazing._

_Really?_

_Yeah. Whenever you do something, she is convinced that no one in the history of the planet has ever done it better._

_She's always sticking up for me. Sometimes I think she's the only person who can stand me._

_What about the other cheerios?_

_Please, those bitches hate me. Did you know that in 5__th__ grade Quinn was going to have this giant sleepover with all the other girls from cheer camp and she wasn't going to invite me?_

_I didn't know, that must have hurt._

_Brittany wouldn't stand for it. She said that if I couldn't go than she wouldn't go. And since the slumber party was going to be completely lame without Brittany, Quinn caved and invited me._

_So Brittany has a lot of power in the cheer community?_

_I keep telling her to go into politics. She could have this entire country eating out of her hands, people just want to do stuff for her. I may be able to intimidate people and Quinn __**used**__ to be able to command respect with her Christian-princess attitude, but people genuinely like Brittany and want to be around her._

_She's got a gift, but I don't know about politics._

_Yeah you're right. She would probably call all the Asian ambassadors Jackie Chan or Jet Lee._

There was a more comfortable silence now; Santana even slid a little closer to Matt.

_So what brings you to this depressing little area Rutherford?_

_I told you, the card._

_Yeah that's how Berry got you over here, but what's the real reason?_

_She wants me to talk to Schue about my dad._

_Isn't the "Angry black youth opening up to his white teacher about his issues" just a little bit too clichéd for you Matt?_

_I'm starting to see why you weren't invited to that slumber party._

_I am what I am. But in all seriousness, I think you should talk to him._

_I just don't think he's going to take it as easily as everyone else thinks he will. Plus, he just got done with your bi-sexual meltdown; I think he might be too tired right now._

_No this is actually a follow up; the bigger bi-sexual meltdown was last week. I think the man would go Pillsbury-crazy if he didn't have some troubled kid to take care of._

_Where would I even begin? I still don't know if he's the right person to talk to._

_Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. But I'm telling you he'll listen to your problems, and I never lie._

_No…you always tell the truth._

_Well to you at least, but you're one of the special ones Rutherford, all the girls know it._

_Yeah?_

_Look, don't get a big ego over this, but even though Puck and Finn are the guys everyone wants to screw, you're the guy all the girls have marriage fantasies about. They think you're some lost, mature, tortured soul who just wants to be loved._

_Oh God._

_You're disgusted? I have to listen to this crap all the time because Brittany can't shut up about how amazing you are. You're the type of guy who brings flowers, remembers anniversaries, and holds open doors. Guys like that usually only exist in books, books that usually go on to become national best sellers._

_Then why the lack of attention?_

_Because girls are supposed to be chased you idiot. And even though you're Mr. Mature, there is still nothing sexier than watching Puck beat the living crap out of some freshmen._

_You really are confused about your sexuality._

_I know… it gets really annoying sometimes._

Matt and Santana said their goodbyes and there was even hugging involved. Well...hugging and threats of castration if anything from their private conversation was made public. Matt walked up the steps to his teacher's apartment, card in hand. He knocked on the door a few times. He was about to leave but then he heard humming coming from the other side of the door just before Mr. Schue opened it.

_Oh Matt hi! What are you doing here?_

**A/N**: I tried to make Santana a bit more human by giving her reasons for her anger. Get ready; the big angst-filled therapy session is coming soon.


	14. Chapter 14

_Rachel wanted me to give this to you. It's a Father's day card signed by the whole club._

Shue takes one look at the card and gets that gay little "I'm filled with so much love I'm about to cry" face. Wasn't he a man-whore? Why does it seem like he is always about to cry?

_Wow this is just incredible. This is getting framed right away. Have a seat Matt I'm just finishing my Father's day call to my dad. I promise I'll try to end it quickly, but that man does love to chat._

_Yeah take your time._

Matt sat down on the couch and looked directly at the tile pattern floor. He could hear the laughter coming from the other room as Will reminisced with his father. Matt wasn't trying to listen in on their private conversation, he even tried playing that crappy bowling game on his phone, this was the most rattled he had ever been in his entire life. It felt like he was in the doctor's office waiting for a shot or something, and he hated waiting for shots.

_Sorry about that, the old man just loves to tell me about his law school classes. _

_Wow, why is he starting so late?_

_He gave up on his dream for a while, but he realized that it's never too late to do what you love._

_Right._

Matt hated how everything the Spanish teacher said sounded like it belonged on a poster of a cat hanging from a tree branch. He hated when people tried to be inspirational and supportive, mostly because he thought they were lying. He trusted his mom and Brittany but that was it. He assumed everyone else was full of shit.

_Matt is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about? I'm sure there's a ton of other things you would rather be doing with your summer vacation._

_Yeah…but people keep telling me I should talk to you._

_Well my doors always open to any of my students, but it's up to you if you want to talk Matt, this has to be your decision. _

_You ever try telling your girlfriend that she doesn't have any say in a decision?_

_I see your point…so this is Brittany's doing?_

_Well yeah, her and Rachel….and Santana apparently._

_This sounds serious Matt…I always assumed you had a good grip on things. You never complained or showed any signs of depression. I always considered you as the rock of new directions._

_I like my privacy._

_I understand that, and like I said before, I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk._

_Thanks I-hold on a sec._

Matt was about to walk out of the apartment but then his phone started buzzing with a new text message. Mr. Scue was about to chastise him for having his phone out; but then he remembered they weren't in school anymore. Matt scanned the new message, it was from Brittany. "Be strong. I luv U" was all it said, and it was just what he needed.

_I think I'm ready to talk Mr. Schue…I just don't know where to begin._

_Start from the beginning._

Matt took a deep breath, mentally pulling the lid of the closed jar in his brain that held all his feelings about his father.

_My father committed suicide when I was 9...I blamed myself for his death and it turned me into an introvert. I can't show anger or emotion in healthy ways and it's killing me inside…and I don't want to end up like him._

Matt hated the way the words sounded coming out of his mouth. Things always sound more serious in your head, but when you start to actually say it, it just sounds ridiculous. It sounded melodramatic and lame, he knew he wasn't to blame for his father's death, but Mr. Schue asked him to start from the beginning so he did.

_Oh my God…Matt…I'm so sorry._

Matt looked up from his hands and saw that Mr. Schue was on the verge of crying. This in turn made Matt cry...like a little girl. It wasn't one of those cool movie cries where the stoic male lead lets out a single tear while his face remains emotionless. It was one of those ugly, wheezing, sobbing, chocking on your own breath human cries; the type of cries that happen to real people in real life.

_I….oh Ggg….Jesus Christ what is wro…._

Matt had lost the ability to even commit blasphemy properly. Mr. Schue crossed over to the couch Matt was sitting on and held him supportively. If Matt had been an outside onlooker, he would have thought the scene was extremely gay and that Schue was trying to get freaky with his students. Those are the types of jokes he would make up in his head when he was trying to act like a tough guy who didn't have feelings. But he did have feelings; he was a sad little boy who didn't understand why his dad was taken away from him at such a young age.

_Matt…this is some heavy business…maybe you should talk to someone with a bit more experience._

_That's…that's what I thought but all I heard these past few months was "talk to Mr. S, he's great." I'm sorry; I knew this was too much to drop on you._

_No…no I'm glad you trusted me enough to talk to me, I just think a professional might be able to help you in ways that I can't._

_Yeah…but they will also charge… and I'm trying to go to college Mr. Schue._

_I understand, money is tight for everyone right now. I'll tell you what, I'll try my best to help and if I get stumped then we'll call Ms. Pillsbury. Ok?_

_Ok._

_Give me a minute Matt…just one minute._

Will left the room for a moment and Matt heard the familiar sound of alcohol being poured into a glass. Matt's dad was also a man who enjoyed the occasional self-esteem boost that came with drinking liquor. Will needed the liquid courage to get through this and Matt didn't blame him. Will had always been there for his students, but their problems were usually just high school drama with the exception of Quinn's baby. He felt like he was really in over his head on this one.

_Alright I think I saw a "Law & Order" about this…what are your earliest memories of your father?_

_He was…he was my hero. He had a strong sense of right and wrong, there was no gray area with him. That's why he loved action movies from the 80's so much. It was always clear who the villains were and heroes were. He let me watch a few of the less violent ones with him…like the Rocky movies. He wanted me to be a good person…to be a man that others could look up to. _

_I think he succeeded._

_Then why did he do it? He grew up dirt poor without his father and he despised him for it. So why would he do the same to me?_

Not having an answer for that loaded question, Schue could only nod and encourage the boy to keep going.

_He rarely mentioned his relationship with his father. Whenever my grandmother came over…she would start talking about him and my dad would leave to go have a drink._

Will had a very guilty look on his face.

_It's ok Mr. Schue, it's your house and you can do what you want. _

_Right…um….please continue._

_Like I said ya know…extremely strong morals. Didn't believe in God though, he would tell me about how his mother would drag him and his 6 brothers and sisters to church every Sunday and how he didn't see the point of it. He looked at the poverty and mistreatment he and all the other parishioners were subjected to, and he couldn't understand why they were praying for better days that were never going to come._

_That's a…that's a very cynical view._

_Yeah…he loved telling the Jehovah's Witnesses that going to church was the reason he lost faith to begin with._

Will was quite pleased with himself, getting his patient to open up so much during their first session was quite the accomplishment. It took Dr. Melfi years to get Tony to open up.

_How old were you when he…when he…_

_I was 9._

_Did you…see him?_

_No, I was over at Mike's house for a sleepover._

Will realized he was heading in the wrong direction. Matt wasn't a suspect on a procedural cop show, he was just a kid. And Will was not trying to establish a motive or test his alibi, so he decided to only ask Matt questions that would allow him to open up more.

_You said you don't want to end up like him. What makes you think you will?_

_My mom tells me that I act like him. The way I carry myself and the way I just shut people out, she thinks I don't see how much it hurts her but I do._

_Parents usually assume their kids are less perceptive than they really are. But Matt I really don't think you have to worry about going down that path._

_Do I? It's not like he committed suicide out of the blue Mr. Schue. It was unexpected, but I saw it manifest with my own eyes. It just kept building and building and I just knew something was coming…I just knew it. A couple weeks before it happened he stopped talking to my mom and me. He would stay out late…claiming he was meeting his lawyer. My mom assumed he was having an affair and started screaming at him whenever she could…trying to get him to yell back or at least communicate with her in some way. He never did…he just sat there and nodded. He was really meeting with his lawyer by the way…getting his affairs in order._

_So you think he planned this for a long time?_

_I think it was hard for him ya know? I want to believe it was a long and difficult decision for him to make. Like he didn't want to do it at first, but then something clicked and his mind was made up. Not speaking to us was his way of breaking off ties I guess…_

He started crying again, he hated doing that. He put a hand up to Mr. Schue, halting the Spanish teacher who had vaulted from his seat across the coffee table to console him.

_I'll be alright…I just never said this much about him to…anyone._

_How about your mom? How did she take it?_

_Well she talked to Mike's parents and I stayed with them for a week or so while she pulled herself together. She called her sister, my aunt Margaret; they set up the funeral and everything. She wanted me to see a grief counselor; I only had a few sessions because I just refused to talk to the shrink._

_Why?_

Matt counted off with his fingers as he listed the reasons.

_Because I knew my dad was dead, I knew he wasn't coming back, and since the doctor was just going to tell me to move on with my life anyway I didn't want to waste any more of my mom's money. _

_It wasn't a waste Matt; she was trying to help you._

_Yeah I know. But…I didn't want to have to deal with emotions; I wanted an enemy to fight. In those action movies, someone close to the hero is always killed or kidnapped by the main villain and it is up to the hero to get revenge. I wanted my dad to be some sort of secret agent, killed by his partner who went rogue, and it was up to me to uncover the conspiracy and avenge his murder. Something like that made sense to me, not this whole suicide thing. My dad was one of the good guys, and good guys don't get depressed and shoot themselves._

_I guess you had to get lost in a fantasy world. That's the way children usually deal with traumatic situations._

_I had to think of something during those stupid ass therapy sessions. Honestly, the man wanted me to tell the sock puppet how I felt. I was nine years old; I knew the sock puppet wasn't fucking real. The ridiculous shit that people do astounds me._

Matt was going into a rant in an attempt to change the subject but his teacher wouldn't let him.

_What about your aunts and uncles?_

_What?_

_Your dad's brothers and sisters…do you still talk to them?_

_No, the ones who are alive and not in prison blame us for his death. Since my father practically raised all of them while my grandma worked, was the only one who went to college, and the only one who married the person he made a baby with…they looked at him like he was a god or something. Any time they needed a place to stay or their kids watched for a few days, they always came to us. They didn't know about his issues either, so his death was a real shock to them. They were convinced my mom it was my mom's fault._

_That's terrible._

_Aint it? They were so quick to come running to us when they were in trouble but the minute we needed family support they got amnesia. _

_What about your mother's side of the family?_

_Her mom and dad stayed with us for a while. My aunt Margaret and her boyfriend Darius would also drop by on occasion. Darius and my grandpa tried their best to be my new male role models…but it just wasn't the same. _

_You loved your father; no one could ever replace him._

_Yeah…but my grandpa is dead now and my aunt broke up with Darius so now I literally have no options._

_I'm always here Matt you know that._

_Yeah but Mr. Schue no offense… you're white and there are some things you just aren't going to understand._

Will could think of a few sitcoms from his childhood that would beg to differ. But then he realized that was only more proof for Matt's point. He was comparing this very real, very emotionally troubled teenager to the characters on "Different Strokes." The obstacles Matt faced were not going to be solved in a half-hour with a group hug at the end in front of a cheering live studio audience. Plus…neither of them had catchphrases.

_It's true I am white…but I'm still an adult male and I'm sure there are some things I could talk to you about. For example, I know a little something about being in a serious relationship with your high school crush and how emotional that can be._

_Yeah? Did complete strangers ever look at you and your wife with disdain? _

_No…people always smiled at us thinking we were a happy couple._

_Did any of your girlfriends ever try to talk to house plants?_

_I think that's more of a Brittany thing than a racial thing._

_True._

Will started to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. It was his go to move when he was trying to think of something to say during awkward silences.

_Look…I know I'm not going to understand everything you are going through. But my high school guidance councilor was black, and he helped me with issues I wouldn't talk to my father about in a million years. I'm not going to judge you Matt; I'm just going to listen._

Matt nodded his agreement. He looked at the time on the clock on the wall and noticed it was 5:04 pm. He had spent his whole day inside or on the bench in front of his teacher's apartment. Matt got up and extended his hand Mr. Schue, who declined the handshake in favor of a very tight hug. It was probably really gay, but Matt didn't really care. Before he walked out the door, Matt turned to say one last thing to the Spanish teacher.

_Could we….could we do this again sometime?_

**A/N: **My longest chapter ever! Hope it lived up to the expectations. Tell me what you think.


	15. Chapter 15

Matt was sitting at his computer totally **not** looking at porn when he got a phone call from his girlfriend.

_Maaaatttttt._

_Yes Brittany._

_I need your help._

_What is it honey?_

_Promise you won't laugh?_

_I promise._

_Ok, see you in two seconds._

Matt had a mini heart attack when he heard knocking on his door. He was just surprised that's all; it had nothing to do with him sitting in front of his computer with his pants off...totally not looking at porn.

_Just a minute._

That was all he managed to squeak out as he pulled on his jeans and zipped the zipper **very very** carefully. He opened the door and found Brittany leaning against the wall; staring at her watch.

_You still got 15 seconds._

_Why did you call me if you were right outside my door?_

_Your mom said you were up here and she told me I should make my presence known instead of just barging into your room because you might be doing something I don't want to see._

_Well…I wasn't doing anything, you can come in._

_Thanks!_

Matt's mom had a wicked sense of humor. Brittany plopped on Matt's bed and pulled out the note pad he had given her. He was tired of her always telling him that she had really important news and then forgetting said news 5 minutes later.

_Matt are you aware of the show "Victorious"_

She tried to sound as professional as possible; she even used air quotes which Matt found utterly adorable.

_I cannot say that I am familiar with that program Brittany._

Matt tried to match her serious tone.

_Come on Matt I know you do. It's the show about a performing arts high school in LA where all the kids are super talented._

_It sounds a bit familiar._

_Victoria Justice._

_I know exactly what you're talking about._

Brittany rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's predictability.

_Well I was thinking…I like the plots they have on the show, but I think I can write something better._

_I'm sure you could, their writing sucks._

_Hey it doesn't suck! I've just noticed that certain things could be improved. Which is why I want to start writing fan-fiction based on "Victorious."_

_What the hell is fan-fiction?_

She flipped the page of her notepad and started reading the definition.

_It's when fans of TV shows make up their own storylines about their favorite characters. _

_That's the saddest thing I've ever heard._

_No Matt it's great. People can re-create the entire show. There are alternate universes where boys can get pregnant, teachers can have sex with students without consequences, and everyone can be gay!_

Matt looked at her with a confused expression

_That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard._

_No it's not! Matt I really want you to take this seriously. _

_Why?_

She looked at him with pouty lips and pleading eyes. Matt knew he was about to be manipulated into doing something he didn't want to.

_I need you to help me write my fanfic._

_Why?_

_Because it has to be typed and I don't know how to turn a computer on._

_Um…oh what the hell, what's your story about?_

_Yeah! Ok so there's this boy named Andre who has dreads and he's really chill. He's kind of the…what did you call him again? The coin?_

_The token?_

_Yeah that's right he's the token. And then there's this really dumb girl named Cat. I mean, she's almost too dumb to function._

Let it go Matt; you'll save yourself a migraine.

_Let me guess, in your story you want Cat and Andre to be together?_

_Yes exactly!_

_Are they a couple on the show?_

_Sadly no._

_Then why do you want to write a story about them?_

_That's the beauty of fan-fiction Matt. Two side characters that barely interact on the show can fall madly in love. It doesn't matter who the story is about as long as it is entertaining. The fans can fulfill all their hopes and dreams about what they want the show to be instead of just bitching about the sucky prequels like a certain token in this room._

_First of all, my mom and I are both black so you're the token goldie locks. And did you just compare my enjoyment of Star Wars to your sick obsession with a dumb show like Victorious?_

Seriously, there's no way in hell he's anything like those star wars freaks who never move out of their mom's basement.

_The Han Solo costume you wore last year speaks for itself._

_Ok Brittany._

_And Mike dressing as the Wookie and following you around all day was kind of gay…or was it slash?_

_Yeah but-_

_And it wasn't even Halloween…it was like a normal Thursday or something._

_Ok Brittany! Your point has been made. _

She was so pleased with herself, it's a good thing Matt loved to make her happy or else he would have thrown her out of his house.

_Great let's get started._

An hour of brainstorming and agony later, Matt read off the list off plot points Brittany wanted to include in her story.

_OK…so Andre and Cat fall in love at school one day for in a completely unrealistic way, something about them feeling a __**spark**__ for each other or some other dumb shit like that. Even though they barely speak to each other and don't know anything about each other, they fall madly in love and become inseparable. Cat's parents get mad at her for falling in love too young and Andre is loving and supporting and has no other characteristics or desires other than to be loving and supporting to Cat. Then Cat gets transformed into actual cat because Alex Russo was jealous of her and placed a spell on her._

Matt deserved the freaking boyfriend of the year award just for uttering that last sentence.

_Then Cat has to use her wit and cunning to escape the clutches of the evil janitor with Andre's help. Because even though Cat is now literally a cat, Andre is still her soul mate and is able to recognize the love of his life in any form. _

_The Janitor is an OC but not one of those annoying OC's who take up the entire story. And Cat is acting a little OOC but I don't think anyone will mind._

_Sure Brittany, whatever you say. After finding Alex's spell book…Cat begins reading it in her special cat language and she is able to regain her human form._

Brittany was on their edge of her seat. Even Matt's annoyed monotone couldn't take away the excitement of hearing the story she came up with being real aloud.

_But since cats can read English but can't speak it, the spell malfunctions and Andre and Cat sent to alternate dimension where….Brittany I can't._

_You will read it and you will like it Mr.!_

_Ugh… an alternate dimension where boys can get pregnant. And Andre is now pregnant because Cat jumped his bones when she was still in cat form._

_And?_

_And Andre gives birth to adorable half-human half-kitten babies._

_And?_

_And everyone is gay. They entered the slash-furry-bestiality-mpreg dimension and they couldn't be happier…the end. Brittany are you crying?_

_It's just so beautiful. _

Matt decided that he deserved to get laid for this. So he climbed onto his bed and tried to get something going with his girlfriend.

_What are you doing?_

_Trying to do you._

_Matt…later ok, I really want to get this story online._

Brittany climbed off the bed and walked over to Matt's computer. He had just erased his computer's history for no particular reason…you're supposed to do that every once in a while right?

_Brittany…do you know what you're doing._

_Yep._

_Then why are you taping that piece of paper to my computer screen?_

_You mean this isn't how you get stuff online?_

_No you have to; you know what, just move over and let me do it._

_*You got mail*_

_Matt I think you got mail._

_Nothing gets passed you Brit._

Brittany removed the paper she tapped to the computer screen and clicked on the little mail-box. She giggled at the sound effects while Matt was busy trying to read it.

_Matt…this is an e-mail from Mr. Schue; an e-mail about pills._

_It's just some information about medication Brittany; he's doing some research on anti-depressants for me._

_But…why do you need those? Why can't you just be happy? Did I do something embarrassing again?_

_You did nothing wrong Brittany. You know I love you. Schue thinks I might have a chemical imbalance or something and I want to see what research he found._

Brittany's face scrunched up like Matt's words caused her physical pain.

_Well you can have your stupid pills! While you're at it, why don't you date them!_

_Brittany…I'm not taking anything yet. Now calm down baby, you're starting to scare me._

_You're scaring me!_

This fight was serious, Brittany was pissssssed. The previous spats were always over quickly because Matt would always give some half-assed apology and Brittany would always forgive him. But this wasn't like the others, Brittany was about to go ape shit on him. This was going to be a real test for Matt. Anytime Santana or any other girl got really pissed he would just stop talking to them. Brittany was different; he wanted to work this out with her even though part of him wanted to break up with her just so he wouldn't have to deal with the drama.

_Brittany…let's talk about this._

_You don't want to talk. You never want to talk. I try with you Matt. I really try to be there for you but you always try to change the subject or distract me with tinfoil…and I'm tired ok. I'm tired of you being afraid to get to close to me._

He had no clue how emotionally draining it was for her to be in a relationship with him. Brittany deserves the girlfriend of the year award for just being able to tolerate his grumpy ass.

_Well, that's because I'm kind of messed up in the head. You're the strong one in this relationship Brit, everyone knows it. So please, tell me why you hate the idea of me taking pills so much._

_I had a friend, a really close friend. She was like my Santana before Santana was my Santana. Then she started taking pills, and now I can't see her anymore._

_Brittany, I'm sorry your friend became an addict but that's not gonna happen to me, I promise._

_She made that same promise Matt. She told me she could quite anytime she wanted to. She kept telling me she just needed a quick fix from my mom's medicine cabinet or just needed to borrow a little bit more cash and then she would quite. But she never did, and her parent's sent her away._

_That will not happen to me._

_Those pill ads Mr. Schue sent you….they were her favorites and she used to eat them like candy._

Matt lead the girl onto his bed because her knees looked like they were about to buckle.

_Brittany I'm sorry your friend lost control, you obviously cared for her._

_And I care a lot about you too! Which is why I can't watch another person I love destroy them self._

_There are plenty of people who take pills without getting addicted…you're mom is probably fine right?_

_Yeah…if you ignore the fact that she can't sleep without them and goes bananas if her subscription isn't filled._

_Jesus, I would have never guessed._

_Why do you need it Matt? Why does my mom need it? Aren't I enough?_

_You're great Brittany. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me._

_Then why can't I make you happy?_

He gently massaged her back, pleading with her to look him in the eyes as he said the most heart-felt thing he had ever said in his entire life.

_Not everyone is lucky enough to be like you Brittany. We all can't just be happy because we want to. You get enjoyment out of everything in life and I think that's amazing…but I can't do that. You remember that time we took that hay ride? You see an adorable rabbit and I see a little vermin that's going to eat up all the crops._

_Rabbits are fluffy._

_That they are… you're lucky Brittany. You get to live in your own little world. We mere humans can only get there with the help of pharmaceuticals. I want to be a part of your world Brittany; I want to be able to enjoy my life…I just need some help._

Brittany nodded her agreement and gave him a big hug. That hug turned into kissing. And the kissing turned into…you get the idea.

A/N: Easy there flamers, you got to laugh at yourself every once in a while. Fanfic can get pretty ridiculous, especially when characters fall in love for no reason (and yes I realize that I am making fun of myself as well). Hope you enjoyed all the clichés and I tried to bring the funny and the drama because that's what people seem to want.


	16. Chapter 16

Matt was sitting on a bench in the mall waiting patiently for the group of girls to come out. Brittany had promised him that it would just be the two of them and the trip would be short. Then Santana called and she just **had** to come. Then they called Quinn who wanted new clothes after dropping the baby weight (apparently her mother was still trying to buy back her daughter's love after abandoning her). So Matt's "short" trip to the mall with his girlfriend turned into him chaperoning the re-united three cheerio-teers on their shopping spree. Matt was taking it pretty well all things considered. Mall trips with his mom had built up his patients to equal that of a monk. He allowed his mind to wonder, making up interesting back stories for the mall rats that passed him by.

_Hey…black guy from the McKinley glee club!_

Matt looked around for the origin of the voice that was calling him as Jesse St. James approached.

_That's not my name Jesse._

_But you are the black guy from the New Directions correct? Please tell me if you are and don't be angry with me if you aren't because I've been wrong three times already and they were all really pissed at me for some reason. _

_You didn't even learn my name?_

_My mission was to get close to Rachel Berry; no one else was of concern to me._

_Right, good for you. Now I suggest you get out of here before the girls I'm waiting for come back and kick your ass._

_There's something I need to discuss with you and I am not leaving until you hear me out._

_Santana is with them._

…_maybe we should have this conversation somewhere else._

Jesse didn't know their names but he was able to put two and two together. Santana = Hispanic = that crazy bitch in New Directions.

_Look, I'm not going anywhere and I have nothing to say to you._

_Trust me; what I have to say will be beneficial to your future._

Matt couldn't believe the nerve on this guy. He was such an entitled self-important ass. But then again, Matt was bored sitting on the bench by himself and he needed a distraction.

_Not until you remember my name._

Jesse started focusing really hard on Matt's face trying to force his brain to remember the black guy's name.

…_Jamal?_

_No, but I'll walk with you anyway because I'm bored…it's Matt by the way._

_Fair enough._

They walked around to the food court underneath the store where the girls were shopping. The big crowds provided enough cover for the two men to have their secret meeting.

_What's the BFD Jesse?_

_As you are well aware of, Vocal Adrenaline just won Nationals for the 4__th__ consecutive year._

Matt just shrugged

_I didn't know…congratulations I guess._

_Don't try to hide your jealousy Matthew, I'm used to it. Go ahead and curse me out for betraying New Directions and crushing all your hopes and dreams._

_Umm I play football dude. I really don't give a shit who won._

_What? Of course your jelous. We beat you!_

Matt just shrugged again.

_It's really not that important to me._

_You're…you're just trying to mess with me._

_No Jesse you're the one who plays games to mess with people's heads remember? I'll admit that it hurt like hell to lose after what you guys did to Rachel and our music room, but I got over it. And I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that no one in your school cares that you won nationals either._

All cockiness left Jesse's face.

_They didn't even care Matthew. No banners or parades or anything! All they did was give a stupid announcement, but if the football team wins they have a freaking block party in the parking lot!_

_Yeah…even though you won it's like you still lost. Those are the breaks I guess._

Matt really enjoyed making the Jesse kid squirm; this must be why Puck always picked on people.

_No one cares now, but they will care at UCLA._

_You got into UCLA?_

_Full ride…and I didn't even show up to half my classes this year._

It was Matt's turn to lose all his cockiness.

_What do you want from me Jesse?_

_Vocal Adrenaline is in a rebuilding period. Yours truly along with the other seniors are leaving for brighter pastures and we need to find good replacements._

_Aren't there any young vocal adrenaline members who want to take over? I'm sure there are tons of underclassmen who want to take your place._

_As if anyone could ever do that!_

_Whatever dude, I don't want to join your group._

_Fine, throw away all your gifts and rot in the "13__th__ grade"_

Matt wondered if Jesse wanted him to punch him in the face, maybe the guy had a death wish or something.

_Shut up St. James…it's an ok school and I can always transfer._

_Right, but you won't. You'll stick to the familiar small pond you swam in your whole life instead of taking a chance to make something of yourself._

_And you think Vocal Adrenaline could do that?_

_Shelby could have you at any major university in the country with one phone call._

_Why would she want me, I don't even sing that well._

_Just because Mr. Schuester ignores your talent doesn't mean it's not there. True, you aren't the best singer, but you make up for it with your dancing and your energy. Vocal Adrenaline is going to be full of kids who have been trained to either sing or dance. None of them can do both to your level, Vocal Adrenaline needs a soul, and you can provide that._

Matt let Jesse's words sink in, could Shelby really get him into a good school?

_I can't betray my teammates._

_You just said you don't care about show choir._

_I don't…I care about them._

_I may not have remembered your name Matt, but I do remember you just sitting there in all the practices, watching everyone else talk with a look of disgust on your face._

_That's not me anymore._

_What's changed?_

_None of your business douche bag._

_It's a girl isn't it?_

Jesse reached for Matt's hands on the other side of the table.

_What the hell are you doing Jesse?_

Matt pulled both his hands away.

_Girls can be so overrated. All the drama and complaining and PMS, don't you think it would be easier to-_

_No FUCKING Way!_

Jesse just shrugged and put his hands back on his lap.

_Sorry Matt…I guess I read the signs wrong._

_There were no signs…at all!_

Matt had to think for a second to recall if he did anything gay that would make Jesse want to bone him.

_Sorry ok…but my offer still stands. _

_I need some time to think about it._

_I'll leave you a message on facebook with all the Vocal Adrenaline contact info. And Matt…_

_Yeah Jesse?_

_Just a little F.Y.I., I'll be driving home in a brand new Range Rover I got for free just for being in Vocal Adrenaline._

…_damn._


	17. Chapter 17

_And then my mom turns to my dad and says, "Do you know how many 6 packs I had left in the garage!"_

A story that involves a house being burned down should never be that funny. Matt couldn't believe his seemingly uptight teacher had so many crazy stories. Like the one he told Matt last week about the first time he tried pot in college; he started running around campus screaming about his skin crawling off his body. Apparently the weed he tried was laced with something else; Mr. Schue lived drug free ever since.

_Hey Matt can you raise the light a little bit?_

_Yeah sure._

Will was amazed at how relaxed his appointments with Matt were becoming. After the initial weirdness, they just started hanging out as guys. Matt was even helping him work on his crappy car. Will had no favorites when it came to his students in the classroom. But outside the classroom, Matt was by far in the lead. Unlike other teenagers, Matt could actually consider someone else's feeling and empathize with other people instead of always thinking of himself. This changed their therapy sessions from being all about him to them just talking about their lives.

_Hey um Mr. Schue…I don' know if there is a non-awkward way to say this so I'll just say it._

Will lifted his head out from under the hood of the car to give Matt a reassuring look.

_Ok Matt. What's up?_

_Now before I begin I just want you to know that I have not made up my mind yet. I'm still just weighing my options._

_Matt…what's going on?_

_Jesse St. James approached me in the mall yesterday and asked me if I wanted to join Vocal Adrenaline._

Matt rushed the sentence out very quickly to get Schue's reaction. Matt didn't know whether to expect the gentle Mr. S who loves his kids or the angry Mr. S that comes out when the future of the glee club is threatened in any way. Will let out a little chuckle before he started talking.

_I can't believe she would stoop this low._

_What do you mean Mr. Schue?_

_It's an old show choir trick; Shelby Cochran knows them all too well and probably wrote a few of them. She knows she can't beat us in a fare competition without bias judges so she's trying to break up New Directions from within by getting her seniors to recruit._

_So you don't think she wants me for my talent?_

_No Matt I didn't say that, your skills would improve any glee club. But Jesse probably made that offer to plenty of other kids in New Directions as well, not just you. I better call a team meeting to tell them that they're just trying to split us up because they know they can't beat us next year._

Matt was getting a little offended by 's laze fair attitude regarding whether or not Matt joined Vocal Adrenaline. Even though Schue said Matt's skills would **improve** any glee club, he didn't say that his skills were **vital **to any glee club; meaning that Matt was more flash than substance in the eyes of the Spanish teacher.

_I already called all of them and they said that no one from Vocal Adrenaline has approached them yet._

_Maybe they were all told to keep it a secret. Yeah, I could picture Vocal Adrenaline doing something like that. Making sure the left hand doesn't know what the right is doing._

_Or maybe they just wanted me, and why would it be a trick to offer me a spot on their glee club?_

Jesse's comments at the mall (not including the gay stuff) really made Matt feel like a more important part of the club. He knew he didn't have the same vocal skills as the other boys, but he gave it his all, and he was so happy to know that someone else noticed. It was one thing to say that he put in a lot of effort or that he had heart, you can get that by just trying hard; but no one ever said he had real talent before.

_Trust me Matt; I've been playing this game a lot longer than you have. They may promise you stardom and fancy toys, but you won't __**mean **__anything to them. You'll just be a gear in the machine. You'll be put out front every once in a while to do a few dance moves and then they'll just stick you in the back while they let their top vocalist sing. Do you understand the point I'm trying to make?_

_Yeah…if I join Vocal Adrenaline I'll be doing the same thing I'm already doing in New Directions except I'll have a new car and a shot at a real school._

gave Matt a reassuring pat on the back.

_Don't worry Matt; you're time for a solo will come. You're just not quite there yet, but you are getting close. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make a few phone calls._

_/_

Matt was lying on Brittany's bed playing with the pieces of hair on her "My Little Pony" dolls while the blonde was busy doing yoga stretches.

_I don't know Matt; I think Mr. Schue has plenty of faith in you._

_But you weren't there Brittany; you didn't hear how he said it. It was like he didn't even have to worry about me leaving. We dancers are always replaceable but God forbid anyone mess with his singers! Even during the umpteenth Berry storm out, he always applies all his energy to get her back._

_So you're saying you want to be treated like Rachel Berry? I could just hit you with a brick or something if pain is what you want._

_I want the same respect that he shows her._

_Maybe he isn't worried because he thinks you two have a strong bond. You have that right? I mean, he's kind of like your Mr. Drummond._

_He didn't adopt me Brittany…he just talks to me about guy stuff. No scratch that, men stuff. The type of stuff the other guys are too immature to understand and the type of stuff Coach T. is too dumb to know._

_Yeah, so why would you even want to leave New Directions in the first place?_

_Because…it's a nice feeling to be needed that's all. I wanted him to be really angry over another club trying to recruit me. I wanted to be told how vital I was to the survival of New Directions. _

_So even though you weren't planning on leaving, you still wanted to make him think you were to make him jealous? God Matt, you're kind of becoming a girl._

_Hush your mouth._

_Yeah you're playing with ponies and trying to think of ways to get your boy crush jealous so he will declare his love for you._

_Well when you say it all rational like that I do sound like a little girl._

Matt felt he had a right to his feelings…but Brittany was right and he was acting like a teenage girl. What the hell…Brittany was right about something. Not only that; but the gap between her right answers was getting smaller by the day.

_Maybe it's your time of the month Marsha. No on second thought I think you're Jan. _

Finished with her yoga; Brittany crawled on her bed and lied down next to Matt.

_Why Jan?_

_Oh you know, because she was always bitching about how everyone loved Marsha so much more than they loved her._

_Well in that case, you're definitely Cindy._

_Totally…I own that, but Cindy never got a football to the face so I'm ok with that. _

_You know…most girls would be terrified of the idea of their beloved boyfriend leaving to go to another school. Why aren't you freaking out?_

Brittany snatched the doll out of his hand and threw it casually to the floor.

_Cause you're whipped and you're not going anywhere. _

**A/N**: Come on Team Mattany, let's make it to over 30 reviews!


	18. Chapter 18

Once again; Matt was in his room **not** looking at porn when he got a knock on the door. Instead of pleading with the knocker for an extra minute, he slipped on the shorts that were on the ground by his computer and answered the door.

_Santana…what do you want?_

Matt's tone was supposed to be more forceful, but after looking into the girl's eyes and seeing that she was in great agony, his tone softened. Santana started talking really fast; some of her words were even in Spanish which didn't help the situation at all. Matt was able to recognize a few words though.

_Blah Blah Blah Blah Brittany… Blah Blah Blah accident… Blah Blah Blah hospital._

Matt and Santana rushed down the stairs to find Matt's mom already putting her coat on and ushering the two teens out the door. The car ride over was silent and intense. Matt wanted to question Santana about what happened but the girl looked like she wouldn't be able to take it. Once in the hospital parking lot, Matt and Santana rushed in while Matt's mom parked the car. Mr. Schue was already in the waiting room.

_The other kids are all outside her room. It's room 318._

_Will somebody tell me what happened?_

Santana seemed to get very uncomfortable with that question so she tried to force him into letting it go.

_That doesn't matter you idiot! Your girlfriend is in the hospital; now move your ass!_

They rushed to Brittany's room uninterrupted. Mr. Schue had told all the staff members that if any teens were running or wheeling themselves down the halls they were probably his glee kids. And in a small town like Lima a lot of people had the gist of who the kids were anyway so they let them get to their destination without any trouble. The sight of all the glee kids moping around outside the room did not help Matt deal with the situation any better. Everyone looked as if they had already placed the sheet over her lifeless body and announced the time of death. Quinn was the only one with the wherewithal to notice Matt and walked over to him.

_She just got out of surgery…she's still unconscious and the doctor said that she has a good chance of waking up._

_Out of surgery? Why the hell wasn't I called earlier?_

Quinn darted her eyes to look at Santana. The Latina was pleading with her ex-captain to be merciful and she complied. Quinn wrapped her arms around Matt in a comforting hug.

_We're sorry Matt; we were all just so shocked and worried. But you're right, you deserve to know everything. _

_So what happened?_

Once again, Quinn and Santana had a silent eye conversation. Quinn turned to look up to Matt and simply said…

_I don't know. _

And with that, Quinn turned around to comfort an openly sobbing Puck. Matt took a seat along the wall in one of the very uncomfortable hospital chairs. He couldn't see what was going on in the room and people weren't being allowed in yet, so all he could do was wait. He studied the faces of the other glee club members, if only he had the power to read minds…

**Artie:** ((_I hope she's ok. I hope she'll be able to walk again. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but I wouldn't wish this on someone else; especially not someone like Brittany. Her mobility is her life. If she can't move she can't dance, then she'll get depressed. And a world with a depressed and bitter Brittany is not one I want to be a part of.))_

**Mercedes:** ((_I just realized that I have never lost anyone close to me before. Both sets of grandparents are still alive and active. I've never been this close to death before and I am terrified. I mean…I know it has to happen…but that's the only thing in life that no one is certain about…what happens after?))_

**Quinn: **_**((**__She will live! She will live. Will she live? Damnit Santana you have to tell Matt what happened before one of us is eaten alive by our conscience. Who am I kidding? Before I get eaten alive by my conscience))_

**Finn:** _((She is the closest thing to an angel that I have ever met in my life. In celibacy club, whenever we would talk about God and angels and junk, I kind of always pictured Brittany. So she can't die right? Who will be my study partner if she dies? Maybe the angel left her body and we'll get a whole new Brittany…but I hope that doesn't happen because I want my angel Brittany.))_

**Rachel:** _((Everyone's focus is on her right now instead of me- STOP IT BRAIN! One of your only friend's lives is hanging by a thread, stop thinking about yourself! Poor Matt, what must he be thinking right now? ))_

**Puck: ((**_Stop crying Puckerman! Be a man! What are you, a stud or a sissy? You're supposed to be the unwavering rock while all the girls cry. Except in reality you are the one crying on Quinn's shoulder. So what if you still have the onesie Brittany bought for the baby before she was born? So what if Brittany was the only one who didn't glare daggers at you for what you did to Finn? So what if she promised to babysit Beth at any time ("rain, sleet, or water world") for no charge? There is no excuse to cry in front of people!))_

**Kurt: **_((I never really noticed this…but Brittany kind of looks like my mom in some ways. Maybe it's because I vividly remember her clinging to life in a hospital bed only to die a short time later. I hope that doesn't happen to Brittany, but I'm a little desensitized to death. I don't want to see people in pain, but I'm used to losing loved ones.))_

**Mike**:_((I may know the cure for Chang-fever, but I don't know how to cure cracked ribs, broken pelvic bones, ripped up leg ligaments, oh God Brittany please be ok. Please God, let her be ok. Not many people can say the world would be a worse place without them, but Brittany can.))_

**Tina:** _((The Goth being uncomfortable at the intensive care unit sounds like the beginning to a bad Dane Cook joke. Everyone else is so scared; I'm just kind of giggly because that is how I handle stressful situation, which is very inappropriate for what is happening right now. Poor Matt, I wonder how he's holding up?))_

**Santana: **_((What have I done?))_

Mr. Schue walked down the hall and all the eyeballs were on him.

_The doctors said you can all go ho-_

All 22 eye balls stared at him with tears and defiance. They weren't going anywhere; they would have to be forcibly removed. All Mr. Schuester could do was chuckle and swell with pride over how protective the kids were of one another.

_I'll see if I can round up some blankets and pillows for you guys. _

After Schue left, Quinn walked straight over to Santana, grabbed her hand, and dragged her down the hall and around the corner so she could berate her in private.

_What the hell Q?_

_Why aren't you telling Matt what happened?_

The blonde's eyes were like fireballs locked and loaded and ready to destroy.

_You don't know what you're talking about teen mom._

_I know you and Santana were at Puck's party. I know you were drinking. God Santana I know you have feelings for her but she loves Matt and you got to get over it._

_Oh I get it blame me, that's cool, I mean it's what you did before you got knocked up so I guess you really are trying to get back your old life huh?_

_Save it ok. Yeah, I got pregnant and the baby is now living with another woman, but you are the one who put our best friend in the hospital not- *Whack*_

A loud, thunderous, almost inhuman slap knocked Quinn Fabray down to the floor. She lifted herself off the ground immediately. If she wasn't such a lady, she and Santana would be in the cat fight to end all cat fights right now.

_That all you got bitch?_

_You don't know shit about what happened tonight so you get to don't judge me Quinn, not this time. I'll be the one to tell Matt, and me alone. Got it?_

_You better._

With a role of her eyes, Santana violently pushed pass Quinn and headed down to a girl's bathroom stall to cry alone. An activity she was used to watching other girls do, but never herself. Quinn regained her composure at went back to the group, taking a seat next to Matt.

_Quinn has…has anyone contacted her parents yet?_

_I called them; they'll be on the first flight out of Boston. I even tried coach Sylvester but…no answer._

Kurt lifted his head up at the sound of people talking. He did not want to be the one to break the uncomfortable silence but he was more than willing to contribute once someone else did it first.

_I was the one that called her and told her about Brittany. She said "fine" and then she hung up on me._

Kurt's words caused Matt to lose his cool

_Fine? All she said was fucking fine! God damn what the…this is not the time to be cruel Sue._

Quinn tried her best to comfort him.

_She cares Matt…she just can't deal with hospitals for some reason. I know she cares about Brittany…she cares about all of her-_

_She exiled you didn't she!_

Matt stormed down the hall way. He noticed a little room in the hospital that looked like a chapel. Not knowing who else to turn to, Matt entered and fell to his knees in prayer. He didn't know what magic were necessary to make God hear you, so he just cried. Cried out for the safety of one of the few people in this world who love him and accept him for who he is.

_Are you aware that you don't have any shoes on?_

Matt lifted his head and was able to make out Santana's figure through his blurred vision. He had to laugh at the irony. Praying to God and winding up with Santana Lopez. Maybe she would offer him a deal for his soul in exchange for Brittany, or maybe angels just have a very dry sense of humor.

_Kind of was in a rush…girlfriend being in a coma and all._

_Yeah…I saw your mom out there. She told me to tell you she had to go home._

_Why?_

_It's 1:30 in the morning and she has to go to work. God Matt, someone will give you a ride if you want to leave her to die without you._

Matt stormed toward her with clenched fists.

_I'm not leaving, and she isn't dying._

_Why Matt? Because you made a wish to your fairy godmother? _(Her voice was cracking. A very un-Santana thing to do) _Come on, you and I are too rational to believe in any of that bull, it's just not in us._

_Brittany believes…and I need something to believe in now ok? So if you just came here to joke then you can leave me alone._

_Matt…sit down I have something to tell you._

They sat down in a pew; both staring in any direction except at each other.

_Matt…before the accident…Brittany and I were at Puck's party getting wasted. Well, I was and she was keeping sober to drive us back to her house so my parents wouldn't catch me. Anyway, on the ride home I confessed my love to her and begged her to be with me instead of you. She rejected me…so I started screaming and crying and told her to stop the car. I got out and started walking…she was driving really slowly and calling out to me from the car window to get back in …she never saw the truck._

Matt lunged at Santana and pinned her to the ground and wrapped one hand around her neck while the other was in a tightly clenched fist raised in the air above his head and ready to strike. Santana's face was a mixture of pain and relief.

_Do it…do it you son of a bitch! Do it!_

Matt wants too…God knows he wants to. Beating Santana's brains in seems like the logical thing to do. Judging by Santana's reaction to being pinned to the floor, it seems like she wants to be hurt; but he knows deep down in his soul that she is already hurting. Santana's attitude and bad habits are all just cries for help; she wants someone to care about her, that's all she ever wanted. He knew how cold her upbringing was, which is why Brittany's love meant so much to her. The pain Santana must have felt after being rejected, in addition to the pain for blaming herself for the accident, had set the girl on a crash course for a mental breakdown.

Matt had two options: he could either leave her to self-destruct in her own guilt or he could man the fuck up and be the person his father always wanted him to be. So instead of beating her, he hugged her. She soaked his shirt in tears and he did the same to her cheerleader coat, both in great agony over the fear of losing the girl they loved.

_Ummm._

Rachel was standing in the doorway to the chapel, a little confused by the sight in front of her.

_The doctor wants to speak to all of us immediately. _

**A/N**: A few fluff chapters to get you in a false sense of security then bam! I know I'm horrible, and chapter 20 is going to be the final chapter. How will it all end? You'll have to read to find out. R&R


	19. Chapter 19

Dr. Saltski loved his job. Being a doctor was the only thing he had ever wanted to do with his life. With a career spanning over two decades, he thought he had seen it all. But after he told a group of teenagers that their friend had just died under his care, he thought long and hard about getting a real-estate license.

The silence in the hallway was deafening. A pin dropping on the floor sounded like a stick of dynamite. Matt's phone sounded like an atom bomb. He answered it, still in shock over the horrible news.

_Hello?_

_Matt, it's Brenda. No one is answering their phone down there is everything ok?_

Why did it have to be him?

_I'm sorry Mrs. B…she…she didn't make it._

Matt heard crying over the phone as soon as he said the word "sorry." The completion of the sentence was more important for him to hear than Brittany's parents. He needed to admit it to himself, his little ray of sunshine was retreating behind the clouds for good.

_Matt…I'll have to call you back._

Mr. B and Mrs. B were at an airport terminal in Boston at 3:30 in the morning crying their eyes out. There was barely anyone in the building, a fitting setting because the two of them felt alone in the world without their daughter.

Once Matt closed his phone, he looked up to find the eyes of everyone from glee club, including Mr. Schue and Mrs. Pillsbury, locked on him. Why were they all staring at him? What did he do? Couldn't they just stare at the floor or something? Before he could protest, he was swept up into a sea of arms welcoming him into a group hug. He and Santana were at the center of the hug because the group felt they were the ones who needed the most support. Matt managed to see through the limbs to meet eyes with Santana; a quivering smirk on her face and tears rolling down her cheek. He and Santana thought they were so strong; so tough and independent, but they were the most emotionally vulnerable people in the group. Not just now, they always were. They were extremely fragile people living in self-imposed shells, and Brittany's death cracked the shells wide open.

Mr. Schue called a series of taxis to take everyone home; no one was in any condition to drive. He knew it would be better for the kids to get out of the hospital and spend time with their own families. He thought about possible activities to help his kids, maybe a glee assignment? But then he realized that Brittany's death was more than just a tragedy for glee, it was a tragedy for the entire school. Brittany had friends, distant relatives, and casual acquaintances that would all need to be informed of her passing sooner or later. As he was hugging Matt and Santana goodbye before they entered the last taxi, he told himself to give them a comforting look. Some look of reassurance that would let them know that this was just a part of life, that there is still beauty in the world and it is up to them to go find it. That is what he planned to do, but when he looked at the faces of the two teens, he couldn't do anything. All he could do is close the taxi door and wave goodbye. Once they were out of sight, he broke down and cried on Emma's shoulder.

Matt and Santana didn't speak on the ride over to his house. He just watched the light from the sun come over the tall trees to signify a new day. Time didn't stop, not for even someone as important to him as Brittany. He handed the driver a 20 dollar bill and got out, not realizing that Santana was right behind him. He didn't say anything…what would be the point? They went up to his room and he carefully handed her some clothes to sleep in. He would normally just throw the clothes to her, but life seemed a bit more fragile now after the events of the previous night. She laughed when he turned his back **and **covered his eyes while she changed even though he had already seen her naked plenty of times. They crawled into bed on top of his covers and just lied there staring at each other.

_Ow!_

_What is it San?_

_Something under the pillow poked my hand._

Santana reached under the pillow and pulled out a _PowerPuff Girls_ button. A simultaneous lump formed in both of their throats when they realized the owner of the lost button would never be able to claim it.

_We…we used to l-love this show. I was Buttercup, Quinn was Blossom, and…a-and_

_Brittany was bubbles._

Santana could only nod as the flood of emotions she was not used to feeling was rendering her incapable of speech. Matt held her the whole night, letting her cry it out while shedding only a few tears of his own. He was just too cried out, too drained from it, and he didn't even really want to deal with Santana right now, but he knew he had to. She probably blamed herself for Brittany's death just like he blamed himself for his father's death. And while Matt certainly did not want Santana to hurt herself mentally or physically, part of him thought maybe it was all her fault.

/

The weeks went by, obituaries were written, funerals were held, and the residents of Lima felt like someone turned off the sun in the middle of summer. Brittany's death changed people, even those who she never really talked to. Mr. Fabray even called his daughter, just to ask her how she was doing. Quinn considered this Brittany's first miracle as an angel in heaven. A tear even managed to escape the large dark sunglasses Coach Sylvester wore to the funeral. Brittany's parents were moving to Boston, they couldn't handle living in the same house and watching other children get ready to go to college. They called Matt and Santana over to look through the boxes that were marked "charity." Matt found several journals that he wanted to keep while Santana decided that she would adopt Tweetie the cat. Through further rummaging, Santana found a folder labeled "important."

_Matt…you gotta see this._

_What is it?_

_An important document our girl was keeping just in case she was ever recruited to travel to Pandora._

_Huh?_

_Just read it._

Matt chuckled at the sight of his girlfriend's sloppy handwriting (she did use red crayon). He began to read the top paragraph.

_Dear N.A.S.A, _

_ If Avatar is real and there really is a planet full of big blue cat-people who can talk, I would really like to go there. I seem to be the only one who can hear the cats on earth when they talk, and they are as self-absorbed as everyone says. The blue cat-people seem nice and I want to live with them for a while. Also, I want my boyfriend Matt and my best friend Santana to come too. P.S. I must talk to James Cameron about the issues with his story structure and the lack of mpreg in the final script. _

Both teens were sharing a moment of humor; it was a nice break from all the crying. Mr. B and Mrs. B were listening down stairs, smiling at their daughter's ability to put people at ease even after her death. Mrs. B kissed her husband on the cheek and asked him…

_What's mpreg?_

_Sweetie…you don't want to know._

Meanwhile, back up stairs.

_Keep reading Matt._

_Why? She just lists what beauty products she'll need, it's nothing really…hold on._

Matt flipped the paper over. Brittany had titled the back of the page "Just In Case"

_In case there are any complications on the spaceship ride or I get trampled by a big monster thing, I have four requests I wish to be fulfilled._

_Arrest Coach Sylvester, she's bound to be behind the death of a Cheerio. And if you dig deep enough, she's probably connected to who killed the guy on the penny too._

_Give all my belongings to needy kids._

_Don't hurt the creature that killed me. I was probably trying to pet it, and sometimes things just don't like being pet (just ask Santana)._

_Since Matt told me that his heart belongs to me, I wish to give his heart to Santana after my death. She needs a good guy to love her and take care of her even though she says she doesn't need anyone. Also, I can't give Matt's heart away to a needy kid because he told me that's what got Michael Jackson in trouble._

Matt and Santana both sighed and shared the comfortable silence with each other. They took turns holding and re-reading the letter; both unashamed to let the tears flow.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: This will be the final chapter of this story. I feel like "Carry on my Wayward Son" should be playing in the background. This is a Glee fic so I should be able to get away with that…but I don't really do song fics. Much love to all the loyal reviewers like KKaty, kb5smo, liferscove2118 , and spazzmanaray for their support and encouragement. And a special thanks to all the readers in general for sticking with the story even though the pairing is between two secondary characters. (I love puckleberry, but I think we have enough stories about them already) Enough of my rambling…enjoy the finale.

Time moved forward and the world kept turning. Matt spent one year at one of the local crappy schools before transferring to OSU. Even though he was an exceptional football player, he was never good enough to be a full-fledged starter on the team. This was a major blow to Matt's ego; he really wanted to be great at something. After graduation, he sat down with an agent and went over his options. The agent told him his odds of making it to the NFL were slim, so instead of trying to make it to the league, he just gave up and spiraled into a deep depression. A year and a half after graduation he was back in Lima living in a crappy motel and working at a super market.

During one of the worst days of the summer heat wave, Matt woke up from his nap (black-out) to see Santana Lopez standing before him. Of course she would show up on one of the hottest days, she is the devil after all. He sat up on the edge of the bed and examined her, the cheerleading uniform a distant memory as she now rocked an expensive looking female business suit.

_Lopez? What are you doing waking me up at the crack of…11:30?_

_Trying to pound some sense into your drunk ass._

_I'm not drunk…that was yesterday…now I'm just tired._

_Jesus Christ Matt! Your mom called me to help your ass, and I know how your mom feels about me, so I know this is some last desperate attempt to get you clean._

_I'm not living under her roof so she has no say in my life. Plus, it's not like she hates you, she just thinks you're a total bitch who needs to get the metallic spike out of her ass…her words not mine._

Santana opened the bottle of water she was holding and dumped it on his head.

_Well a bitch seems to be what you need right now so I guess your mom called the right person._

_Thanks Lopez, you just saved me a shower._

_Trust me you still need one._

Santana examined the horrible condition of the room and could not believe that this room belonged to Matt Rutherford. The same Matt Rutherford who refused to eat food in his room at home because he didn't want any crumbs to get on his floor was now living in a roach infested shit-hole.

_OK Lopez I get it, my mom called you over here to give me some tough love. Then I go through a training montage, and then I make it to the NFL and live happily ever after. What I don't understand is…why are you here? You don't give a shit about….anything?_

_Hey I have a heart ok, I may not be a freaking nun but I do care about what happens to you._

_Why?_

Santana shifted her weight from one foot to the other. To be honest, she didn't know what motivated her to drive down from Cleveland to help him either. They hardly spoke at all when they attended OSU together. But when his mom called and made a heartfelt plea, she couldn't find it in her heart to say no, she really had changed since high school.

_Because Brittany basically left you to me in her will, and just like with that annoying ass cat, it is my job to take care of you because she can't. _

_What if I refuse your help?_

_Please Matt, we both know that I am going to get my way, your cooperation will only make the inevitable come faster._

Matt started openly sobbing now.

_W-What am I supposed to do huh? I can't do anything! Football was my shot…it was my shot! Nothing ever works out for me, I always try with everything I have... and I still lose. I am sick of trying because I know that no matter what, the universe is going to just screw me over._

_Are you finished with the water works Mary?_

Matt looked at Santana's staunch poker face, she was obviously not moved by his outburst.

_Yeah…I think that's about it._

_Good, because the only one thing more annoying than drunk comedian Matt, and that is whining emo-bitch Matt. Shower and be ready to check out in 30 minutes. I have a suit waiting for you in my car; I'll go get it while you are in the shower._

_What's going on? Where are you taking me and why do I need a suit?_

_You have an AA meeting tomorrow at 9 am and you need the suit if you are going to have a successful job interview._

Matt just shrugged and did as he was told.

/

Matt had a very successful interview with Santana's boss. It helped that the man was a diehard Buckeye's fan and immediately recognized Matt from the team photos from two years ago. The company was called Stockland Talent, and it was the largest agency in Cleveland. Santana interned there during college and was hired immediately after graduation. She was tough, intelligent, competitive, and driven. Everything Sue Sylvester had trained her to be. Matt attended the meetings without much fuss. He wasn't an alcoholic yet, he just needed to dial it back to drinking responsibly again. The meetings were more of a cautionary tale for him than actual therapy.

Matt started off in the mail room with a shit salary, but living in Santana's huge apartment rent free made things a little easier. He still had to be her servant (cooking for her and cleaning the apartment) but he considered it an even trade. After two years in the mail room, Matt was finally beginning his training to become an agent. He learned the ropes quickly, he was a business major after all, and the athletes seemed to respect his quiet and direct demeanor. Matt really started to shine when he landed the contract of a big basketball star and three of his Olympic teammates for the agency. He was awarded an office right next to Santana's. She was proud of him for his achievements, especially because it meant he could start paying rent.

During one of those lazy Saturday afternoons, a rare occurrence for two talent agents, Matt and Santana sat on their couch watching bad TV in their pajamas.

_Hey San?_

_Yeah._

_How much would it cost for you to eat one of those bull testicles?_

_You couldn't pay me enough. _

_Maybe it could be a concept for your girl's next video, what's her name again?_

Matt loved poking fun at Santana's clients, especially since she mostly represented crazy pop star wanna-bes.

_Starlica, and please don't bring that bitch up again, I stuffed her in rehab last week so I could get some damn peace in my life._

_I had no idea; you sounded so concerned for her on the phone. Ya know, when you were calling her names like "slut" and "peroxide retard"_

_Leave me alone douche, I keep telling you, I'm not that much of a bitch anymore. Some of my clients just bring out the bitch in me._

_Ok San, whatever you say._

Santana waited until the next commercial break before she started talking again.

_Hey Matt?_

_Hm?_

_You want to get married or something?_

_Yeah pizza sounds…hold on, what did you say?_

_I mean we are living together, neither of us has dated anyone in a while, and I kind of want a family and stuff._

_Santana that's nuts, we're just roommates, we even sleep in separate bedrooms._

_We could start sharing one if that will help._

_I'm just going to ignore this, you must have seen some adorable diaper commercial or something that caused your hormones to act up, this mood will past._

_It's not a mood asshole. I've been thinking about this for a while. I keep dating loser guys or bitchy girls and you just keep bedding bimbo after bimbo, why not just settle down with each other?_

_Umm…because I like my bimbos. And we aren't in love._

_Come on Matt…we lost the girl we love years ago. Neither of us can have her, and I hate meeting new people and learning about their baggage. I want someone who already knows my baggage and vice-versa, and that's tough shit for you because you're the only single guy I have history with who I can stand._

_So…because everyone else you knew is taken or a bum, you figured I would just marry you because Brittany is gone?_

_That and because I'm smoking hot._

_I see…well I guess I better call my mom and tell her the good news._

_/_

Matt's mom was estatic. She immediately insisted they drive down to Lima for the weekend so they could "discuss" the wedding.

_Hell no! Absolutely not!_

_Mom, Santana and I discussed this already. We don't want a big wedding, we just want to go to the courthouse and sign the papers._

_Umm no you aren't. You are my only child and so help me God you are going to get married in a church in front of all of our friends and family. _

_Mom…we hate our family._

_Yeah but Santana probably has dozens of cousins and weddings are very important to Lat-_

_Mom! You're getting racist again._

Mrs. Rutherford turned to Santana who had remained speechless during the mother/son argument.

_Sorry if I offended you honey but wouldn't your mother want you to have a proper wedding Santana?_

Mrs. Rutherford looked at Santana with pleading eyes filling with tears.

_She would, she loves weddings and big parties, which is exactly why I don't want to tell her. Mrs. Rutherford, I want you as a witness at the courthouse, I don't need anything fancy._

Mrs. Rutherford glared at the two young adults in front of her.

_You two listen to me and you listen good. You are having this wedding at my church. Santana, you will wear a long pretty white dress and you will cry your eyes out as Matt recites his beautiful hand-written vows to you. Matt, your vows will be mushy and romantic and better not be quotes from a damn movie. These are my demands, and if you don't agree to them I will call Santana's mother and get her involved as well, do I make myself clear?_

Santana looked over at Matt to see if he was taking his mother's tirade seriously. She had never seen him look so much like a little kid before in her life. So yeah, his mom was deadly serious.

_Crystal Clear Mrs. Ruthford._

/

Matt's mom planned the wedding in total secrecy. She was like a freaking wedding ninja, planning and arranging all details while Santana and Matt just sat back in awe. Matt and Santana had sent out a few invitations to friends from work and college, but when the day finally arrived, Matt saw over 300 people waiting in the church.

_Mom…what did you do?_

_Well Matthew I was looking through your guest list and I noticed you didn't invite any of those nice little glee kids. So I called Rachel and-_

That's all the explanation Matt needed. Rachel Berry knew about it, so it only made sense that the whole town would know. Honestly, how could she have so much pull in Lima if she was living in New York? Matt made a quick call to Santana who was finishing up getting herself ready.

_Hey San, I got some bad news._

_Your mom told Berry and Berry told everyone._

_How did you know?_

_Berry, Quinn, Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt kidnapped me and put me through a day of torturous beauty treatments. _

Matt could hear Kurt bitching at Santana through the phone. He found it absolutely hilarious that their original plan of signing papers in a court house had changed completely into a wedding that would rival a movie set.

_What's that noise in the background?_

_Berry's little spawn is squealing …she's the flower girl._

_Don't call her kid a spawn, it isn't nice._

_But she is a spawn, a little Hudson-Berry monster, and you already know I'm not nice. I forced you to marry me after all._

Santana cast a downward gaze that Matt could practically feel through the phone. He knew she felt bad for having this elaborate wedding with a man who she thought didn't really love her.

_That's not entirely true._

_It isn't?_

_At first I really didn't want to, but after all this wedding craziness, I realized how lucky I am to be doing this with you. I love you Santana, and I'm glad you forced me into making the right choice that I was too dumb to make on my own….again._

Matt recited mushy wedding vows as promised. The vows were so freaking adorable no one would believe that this began as a wedding of convenience rather than true love. She looked flawless in her dress and he did alright in his tuxedo. People kept telling them to sell their wedding photos to bridal magazine as advertisements. As Santana sat down at the reception surrounded by the woman in her family who were pissed at her for not telling them about the wedding, all she could do was stare at Matt. He was talking to Mike, Mr. Schue, and some old guy who knew Matt's dad. She didn't understand why all the butterflies were swarming to her stomach after the wedding, but then she remembered her phone call with Matt before the ceremony. That was the moment she truly fell in love with Matt Rutherford.

/

10 years go by and the Rutherfords settle into a quiet life in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Cleveland was nice, but they both got offers from this huge agency in LA and couldn't resist the opportunity. Along the way, Santana pops out three adorable kids. Isaiah is now 9 and Carl just turned 7. Santana was ruthless with the scheduling; she wanted to be sure one kid was at least two before they had the next one. The third was going to be their last because Santana wanted to have a girl; which is exactly what they got. Sweet, adorable, little baby Brittany. She was 5 now and was just starting to learn how completely powerless her father was against her big brown eyes.

Both Santana and Matt were surprised by how good they were at being parents. The two most emotionally dethatched kids Lima had ever seen were now loving, caring parents. They had it all, the big house, the cute kids, and the dog. But unfortunately, the dog was sick and died a few months after they got it from the pound.

_I can't go in there Matt?_

Santana and Matt were standing outside of Brittany's door, both hesitant about going in.

_What? You have to, you're the mom._

_She's been crying over that freaking dog for a whole week, I can't deal with that much…it's just too much._

_Give me a break San._

_Nuh-Uh, this is all you daddy. Today I'm going to be the one who gets to mess around with the boys while you deal with the waterworks._

_San, you're being a bit cruel here._

_Hey I love my kids ok. I would die, or preferably kill, for them. I love all of them equally with all my heart, but that little girl is drama personified and I need a break. _

Matt sighed as Santana knocked on their daughter's door.

_B, your father wants to take you out for a ride if that's ok with you?_

The adorable little girl looked up from the dog collar she was clutching in her little hands and silently nodded her comply. While Matt and baby Brittany were stuck in the usual LA traffic; he considered this as good a time as any to start the conversation. He adjusted the rearview mirror to get a better look at her.

_Sweetie I know you miss Slugo, but it's been a week, you think maybe we should throw away that dog collar._

_But I can't daddy! He was my best friend and he's gone forever. This is all I have left._

She was wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand and Matt had to try really hard to not shed tears himself. Realizing they weren't going to move anytime soon, he reached into the back of the car and unbuckled the girl from her car seat and placed her on his lap.

_We could get you a new dog? We could get a big one for your brothers and a smaller one that can be all yours just like Slugo._

_It's too soon, and it wouldn't be him, it would just be some dog._

It never ceased to amaze Matt how intelligent and spiritual his daughter was. He knows all parents thought their kids were great, but his actually were. His boys were great too, but Brittany just seemed like an old soul even though she was still his baby girl.

_You don't have to worry about Slugo, he's in heaven now._

_Is that place even real?_

_Of course it is. He's probably up there right now playing with your Aunt Brittany._

Matt and Santana were once confirmed atheists. But after watching little blips on the ultra-sound become living human beings, they had experience a re-awakening of faith. They weren't zealots or anything like that; being a regular Christian in LA was crazy enough.

_Tell me about Aunt Brittany again daddy._

Matt didn't want to give her daughter that name, but Santana insisted. Before their little girl was born, the couple had experienced a major rough patch. Santana accused Matt of still being in love with Brittany instead of her and Matt accused Santana of being a frustrated lesbian hiding in the closet. Things got really bad and Matt even moved out for two weeks. But as Santana's belly grew, she and Matt forgot their stupid disagreement and became a family again for the sake of their children and themselves. She wanted to name the little girl Brittany because she brought the two of them together, just like the original Brittany did in the past.

_Your aunt Brittany was…she was amazing. She tried to make people happy just like you and she cared for all living things just like you. She cried just as hard for her dead bird as you cried for Slugo when she was a teenager._

_What was the bird's name?_

_Kitty._

_That's a silly name for a bird. _

_Yeah…Brittany didn't always make a whole lot of sense, but I loved her and so did your mom._

_You think…you think Brittany and Slugo are having fun in heaven?_

Matt looked out through the open sunroof to the heavens. Amiss the hellish traffic around him, he felt a calming peace as the sunrays hit his face.

_I think she is having a lot of fun…and I think she is watching over us right now._

Baby Brittany looked through the sunroof and was also comforted by the light hitting her face.

_I think so too daddy._

A/N: An extra long tale that goes deep into the future, why not? May not be what you were expecting, but I wanted to give the story the closure I felt it needed. Tell me what you think.


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